Hi everyone, I know I've been told I can come here whenever I need to, but I still feel bad about coming, haha, like I'm going to bother you all or that you might think I'm never okay.
I recently turned 26, which is a serious age, isn't it?
How am I supposed to act? I still feel like a child.
When something happens, I think an adult should take responsibility, but I'm an adult too, and I can't accept it.
I feel like I'm not very mature, that I like childish things, and even though I'm okay with that sometimes, when I see other people my age being so mature, I feel like a baby.
Waking up every day is difficult; I feel very tired and sleepy. I don't know if it's the antidepressants. I have an appointment on Monday, and I'll see if they can change them, but it's frustrating to live like this. I feel like I've reached my limit. I don't know if I'm explaining myself well. I feel like I've already done everything I can, and I can't seem to get better because I'm broken. My brain is damaged, and there's no going back. I'll never be the same as before.
This month, I had a wonderful experience at a concert. That day, I was so happy and forgot all the bad things. I felt grateful to be alive, but that feeling ended, and I'm back to my depressed self. I don't know how to get better.
Sometimes I think I don't want to, but when I feel really bad, I feel like I do want to get better, but I don't know how. It's a very draining internal struggle, and many times I just want to give up. Even if something goes wrong, I think about dying, and the future terrifies me.
I don't like what I do. I'm not proud of it, but I'm afraid to change it. I hate this stupid fear that paralyzes me, and above all, I hate myself so much. I wish I could run away from myself.
I think maybe I don't really want to die. I just want to stop being me, to end it all. Maybe if I could be someone else...
I recently turned 26, which is a serious age, isn't it?
How am I supposed to act? I still feel like a child.
When something happens, I think an adult should take responsibility, but I'm an adult too, and I can't accept it.
I feel like I'm not very mature, that I like childish things, and even though I'm okay with that sometimes, when I see other people my age being so mature, I feel like a baby.
Waking up every day is difficult; I feel very tired and sleepy. I don't know if it's the antidepressants. I have an appointment on Monday, and I'll see if they can change them, but it's frustrating to live like this. I feel like I've reached my limit. I don't know if I'm explaining myself well. I feel like I've already done everything I can, and I can't seem to get better because I'm broken. My brain is damaged, and there's no going back. I'll never be the same as before.
This month, I had a wonderful experience at a concert. That day, I was so happy and forgot all the bad things. I felt grateful to be alive, but that feeling ended, and I'm back to my depressed self. I don't know how to get better.
Sometimes I think I don't want to, but when I feel really bad, I feel like I do want to get better, but I don't know how. It's a very draining internal struggle, and many times I just want to give up. Even if something goes wrong, I think about dying, and the future terrifies me.
I don't like what I do. I'm not proud of it, but I'm afraid to change it. I hate this stupid fear that paralyzes me, and above all, I hate myself so much. I wish I could run away from myself.
I think maybe I don't really want to die. I just want to stop being me, to end it all. Maybe if I could be someone else...
