this has nothing to do with depression. i don't have depression. this is just the place to post when it fits no where else really. 8 minutes ago i felt like the happiest person alive. absolutely on top of the world. i'm going to the australian ballet school in january for summer school how great is that! how exciting and fun and just truly amazing. so i found that out a week ago. i'm still bouncing around. i felt like the most amazing girl alive. i felt so great about myself. and now nathan's gone. we've been together now for a bit over 9 months, few minutes ago he sent me a message out of the blue saying he's been in relationships his whole life. we spoke, it's pissing me off. he's out on the town. i can't stand that he's telling me he loves me. i don't want to hear that. does he think that makes it any easier? it hurts. i never ever ever saw this coming. well i knew one day. but now? why. it hurts more than i thought. no it doesnt, it's just that i wasn't expecting it. part of me keeps thinking that he might wake up tomorrow and think 'oh shit what did i do last night. i have to get her back' you've no idea how much i am holding onto that thought. i was looking forward to seeing him tomorrow so much. and now he's gone. he asked me to promise him that we'd still be really close friends, text every day, go to movies. i don't think i cna do that. i can't imagine going out with him and being able to hold his hand, or kiss him, or tell him i love him just because i feel like it. i adore his family and his friends. his family completely accepted me and we got along so long. and he's just stopped it. just like that. i suppose that's what they say. i feel so.... crushed. i just want him back. i want to go to sleep and tell him i love him and wake up tomorrow and spend the day in bed with him. i don't want to be alone. i don't want to tell my mother that we're not together anymore. she always expected it would be me that broke up with him. she'll be happy, at least. no chance i'll refuse to go to finland or go to uni or some other stupid idea she's brought into her mind. nathan. what am i going to do. and i know this sounds like a stupid rant from just another teen girl, but its me. i'm sorry. i do hope you're enjoying your night. eh, see now it should've gone in relationships. or there lack of.