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Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by poison, Sep 17, 2009.

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  1. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    lately i've become more and more detached from my emotions and personality. i feel like i've lost myself, like i don't know who i am anymore. i've lost the ability to deal with my feelings entirely and to express them. now i just let them sit until i forget or repress them.

    i've been so depressed and stoic i just don't know what to do with myself. i can't express my feelings to anyone so i just end up repressing them. i feel entirely detached from my emotions and i feel like they hit me directly, rendering me really helpless. before i "wore my heart on my sleeve" but now i feel like i don't know what i do with my emotions. they certainly aren't showing through though. i just know they come, they hit hard, and i try to forget about them. i occasionally try to explore them but it just leaves me feeling more depressed and hopeless.

    i really can't say too much why i feel this way. i have very few friends, like 2, and i have maybe 1 close acquaintance and few other people that i can talk to but i never feel connected to. i always feel like crying but i can never do it. it's like my body won't let me and it makes me so angry. i just want to cry, it's like wanting to puke... it's horrid when it's happening but you feel so much better afterwards.

    i've been thinking about my ex-girlfriend less, a lot less actually, but still i want to talk to her again. i was talking to my close friend about it last night and he said i should just send her a message or something on myspace, what could it hurt? i agreed with him but still i lack the nuts to go ahead and do it. she's dating some other dude and has been now for a while. i hope she's happy, that's all that really matters of course, but i want to know how she's doing... a part of me loves her, will always have that love for her as a person. i can't say whether i'd still date her, but i know for sure i love her.

    i feel like i'm gonna end up nowhere a lot of the time... and for some reason i don't give a shit either. i don't care. i just tell myself whatever happens, happens. i truly feel like there's a part of me i've legitimately lost along the way.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sorry your so low i wouldn't write your ex i would get on with your life as she has moved on. Let it go and find someone who will care for you like you deserve. Get out and meet new girls new friends move on okay
     
  3. WldHair

    WldHair Well-Known Member

    I agree with Violet. Most people when they break up don't really want to hear from you. Right now, you need to move forward and not backwards to a dead relationship.

    It's possible you haven't processed feelings from your relationship which is why you're feeling so down. Sometimes feelings/emotions can be so overwhelming they can stun you and you're standing there frozen like a deer in the headlights. This will pass. Like a storm you must simply ride it out and then you will find you can cry and release it. You have to go through the darkness. Having a journal to write in is a huge help. At first you might not be able to write more than a few words and sentences, but if you train yourself to write something every day, it will come and you can start making sense of your feelings in order to process them.

    Try that.

    Chaeya
     
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