Empathy and Advice Welcomed A Note To Myself

[souvenirsfrommarlins]

This is a note that I wrote to myself earlier. I don't know how to escape this way of thinking.

"You are objectively inferior and worthless. You frequently make mistakes when trying to do the most basic of things. Almost everybody is better at performing basic tasks. You’ve lost count of the number of times when you made an exceedingly stupid mistake and failed to understand something that the average person can easily grasp. You failed an incredibly basic question related to intelligence around a month ago, sealing your fate. Your intelligence is a lie. You’ve managed to maintain the illusion of competence, but your luck will run out soon. The people who love you constantly try to make excuses for your mistakes or convince you that you actually have value when you correctly identify yourself as . They are lying to themselves and to you. You have objective proof of your inferiority and don’t need to listen to their stupid platitudes anymore. Being 'kind to yourself' is wrong and selfish. Being 'hard on yourself' is justified because you’re subhuman."

 

[may71]

Wow, that was really harsh. I'm sorry that you feel so bad about yourself.

CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) can help when someone's outlook is a factor in their illness (it sounds like that's the case with you). There's evidence that people can get at least some of the benefits of CBT from a book. One of the most frequently recommended CBT books for depression is this:

Mind Over Mood, Second Edition: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think

Dennis Greenberger, Christine A. Padesky

I haven't read it, but it's on the UK's reading-well book list, and every book there has been vetted by at least one healthcare professional.

I forget now if you said if you have access to professional mental health care. Seeing a therapist or doctor might be a good idea. I could also tell you about some alternative and self-treatment methods if you're interested.

 

[souvenirsfrommarlins]

EDIT: "... correctly identify yourself as worthless."