I took psy tests (with my psychologist). He hasn't finished to analyze them yet, but it sort out I very much probably have a personality disorder. He doesn't think I'm psychotic, but will tell me if I'm at risk. He's not sure if I'm more neurotic or in between... borderline? He says they're others PD. He says I'm avoidant, and I have a social problem, I unconsciously see it as a "danger" (not paranoid or afraid to be attacked, but a sort of danger for my personal balance...). So I'll have the rest the next time I'll see him. i'm not so surprised, but it's not happy for me. I know PD are hard to cure or heal. I hold on, I don't want to kill myself; but some moments I want to cut, or drink. I don't have alcohol at home, so I can't drink all the time, but one day I can't buy some. Borderline would fit, at 75% let's say. I've missed education, like kitties or puppies you take away from the mother and put in adulthood too early. I've missed an adult, a trusted adult all my life. Now I am an adult, and I have a therapist. I'm happy to be treated. But it's not the idea of "the trusted adult" I had, and have.