• IMPORTANT: Covid-19 can only be discussed on this site in terms of SUPPORT. There is a covid-19 support forum and a covid-19 support chat for people needing support around this topic. There is a thread in Forum News and Announcements explaining this further. Please read it.

A relative passed away today.

I'm here for you.

I'm not depressed or suicidal, but Im here for you
#1
I don't even know why I'm posting this. I don't need any "I'm sorry's," because, to put it simply, well, I didn't really know him. At all.

I'm 24 years old. And so was he. I was born and raised in Europe myself, but my roots lie thousands of miles away. I just came back from my home country nearly a month ago, after having spent six weeks there. Before that, the last time I visited was nearly 9 years ago.

I went to a couple of different cities to visit family members. The second city I stayed in was where my uncles live, with their wives and kids.

I spent my nights at my younger uncle's place. His wife would make me breakfast and dinner often for the few days I stayed there. Even though they lived in the city, originally we are all from a village in another place. I went to that village later on during my trip, together with my younger uncle, and I stayed for a week only. The deceased was my younger uncle's wife's nephew.

On the second-to-last day in the village, my uncle came out to see me, because he was going back to his city. But, before we did that, we visited a house. His sister-in-law lived there, with her kids. One of them was the 24 year old boy. My uncle and I spent some time there, sitting out in the front yard with loose village animals, so my uncle could catch up, because it had been a little while since my uncle last visited their house.

So, there we were, sitting together. Then he came in. He had fed the cattle. The 24 year old shook my hand as I was seated. He then started talking to my uncle about chronic health problems he was dealing with. But he was mostly quiet. My uncle was doing most of the talking. My uncle giving medical and spiritual advice. And then at the end, he gave my uncle a ride on his motorbike. I don't remember much now. My mind has been foggy since the last few years because of a severe lack of sleep since I always stay up way too late listening to music or watching television shows.

Today, I was told that he had passed away. Technically it was yesterday, since it's morning now and I haven't slept tonight.

It kind of feels I visited my home country at the right time. Because I was able to meet him before he left this world behind.

Honestly, I don't even know why I'm writing this. Guess I just wanted to let it out, or something. It's so weird when somebody your age passes away and you're still alive. Kind of feels...wrong, in a way. I don't know how to explain.

It's not like I knew him. His name. His dreams. What his aspirations were. What he liked to eat. What he liked to do. I knew nothing. And I still don't. They're going to hold funeral prayers as it is custom in our religion and culture to do so.

I'll make sure to call my uncle later today and talk to him. It's been a few days.
 

TonyNelson

Active Member
#2
I guess it just makes one feel vulnerable, knowing someone the same age as yourself has passed away. You say you don’t know much about him, perhaps see this as a reminder to get involved with those around you while you still have a chance. You could find it enriching. (So they tell me.)
 

I'm here for you.

I'm not depressed or suicidal, but Im here for you
#3
I guess it just makes one feel vulnerable, knowing someone the same age as yourself has passed away. You say you don’t know much about him, perhaps see this as a reminder to get involved with those around you while you still have a chance. You could find it enriching. (So they tell me.)
Thanks for the message. I agree, I think that is why I felt compelled to write about it. And you are right, problem, however is that my relatives live in my home country and not in my country of residence.
 
#4
I don't even know why I'm posting this. I don't need any "I'm sorry's," because, to put it simply, well, I didn't really know him. At all.

I'm 24 years old. And so was he. I was born and raised in Europe myself, but my roots lie thousands of miles away. I just came back from my home country nearly a month ago, after having spent six weeks there. Before that, the last time I visited was nearly 9 years ago.

I went to a couple of different cities to visit family members. The second city I stayed in was where my uncles live, with their wives and kids.

I spent my nights at my younger uncle's place. His wife would make me breakfast and dinner often for the few days I stayed there. Even though they lived in the city, originally we are all from a village in another place. I went to that village later on during my trip, together with my younger uncle, and I stayed for a week only. The deceased was my younger uncle's wife's nephew.

On the second-to-last day in the village, my uncle came out to see me, because he was going back to his city. But, before we did that, we visited a house. His sister-in-law lived there, with her kids. One of them was the 24 year old boy. My uncle and I spent some time there, sitting out in the front yard with loose village animals, so my uncle could catch up, because it had been a little while since my uncle last visited their house.

So, there we were, sitting together. Then he came in. He had fed the cattle. The 24 year old shook my hand as I was seated. He then started talking to my uncle about chronic health problems he was dealing with. But he was mostly quiet. My uncle was doing most of the talking. My uncle giving medical and spiritual advice. And then at the end, he gave my uncle a ride on his motorbike. I don't remember much now. My mind has been foggy since the last few years because of a severe lack of sleep since I always stay up way too late listening to music or watching television shows.

Today, I was told that he had passed away. Technically it was yesterday, since it's morning now and I haven't slept tonight.

It kind of feels I visited my home country at the right time. Because I was able to meet him before he left this world behind.

Honestly, I don't even know why I'm writing this. Guess I just wanted to let it out, or something. It's so weird when somebody your age passes away and you're still alive. Kind of feels...wrong, in a way. I don't know how to explain.

It's not like I knew him. His name. His dreams. What his aspirations were. What he liked to eat. What he liked to do. I knew nothing. And I still don't. They're going to hold funeral prayers as it is custom in our religion and culture to do so.

I'll make sure to call my uncle later today and talk to him. It's been a few days.
the fact you both met each other and showed kindness and *hug10spent time together is going to hurt you now he has passed. It is scary for anyone who is young to pass away, especially if you are around that age aswell. You should allow yourself to grieve
 

I'm here for you.

I'm not depressed or suicidal, but Im here for you
#5
the fact you both met each other and showed kindness and *hug10spent time together is going to hurt you now he has passed. It is scary for anyone who is young to pass away, especially if you are around that age aswell. You should allow yourself to grieve
It was just a brief moment in time, it hasn't really affected me other than just thinking about it for a little while, and just letting it sink in. But, thank you for the message. It's appreciated.
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$255.00
Goal
$255.00
Top