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A text to my camp leader telling her I'm not coming back - how does it sound?

Discussion in 'School, Uni and Starting Out' started by bubblebear, Jun 29, 2017.

  1. bubblebear

    bubblebear Princess

    Hi I recently started going to this music camp where we learn a new instrument and play in a band - all in five days. I got overwhelmed after the second day and today i didn't go in. The camp leader gave me missed call and left a text asking if i was coming in I don't think il go back and i have prepared this text for her. Can i get opinions please - i dont want to sound rambly or too full of self pity. but i wanted to explain how i felt

    *********
    Hi _____

    "I'm sorry I wasn't in today. I went home yesterday feeling very down and overwhelmed and I was going to go in today to talk to you or ______ about it. But then I woke up this morning and I just decided I couldn't go in. I like learning to play the drums but I also feel a lot of pressure with them and I feel like when I make mistakes or can't keep a rhythm I'm letting everyone in my band down. I have problems with anxiety with regards to people, and I've been finding it challenging dealing with everyone socially while also focusing on camp. Most of our activities involve being in groups and I understand and accept that but it's been hard I think dealing with everyone.

    It makes me think maybe I should have just stayed at home and not tried anything. Maybe doing a full week camp all day for five days was too much? Even in college I was only going in for classes for 2/3 hours a day and that was it. I feel like it was too much of a change. I'm sorry but I don't think I'm coming back :( I feel like I've let everyone down and I feel like I can't cope with people. I worry too much about what other people think, I'm too insecure and my self esteem is probably next to nothing. At home we have a very sheltered lifestyle and even as a family we don't really talk to each other and we all just spend time watching tv in our rooms or going on the internet. I'm not used to being with so many people and I worry too much.

    I'm sorry, I hope the rest of the week goes well though, it's a great opportunity and I really do appreciate it."

    ''signed off''
     
  2. lifetalkz

    lifetalkz Well-Known Member

    BB-My honest opinion about your letter is that it is a bit too long-could probably make your point in one paragraph (not two). BUT I really want to encourage you to keep playing! Unfortunately this particular situation wasn't a good fit for you but music is such a wonderful way to go beyond your anxiety and connect with others who are also passionate about music. I started singing in grade school. I was painfully shy and had very poor social skills. But thru music I was able to create many friendships-some that I still have today (30 years later)! Please don't let this negative experience put you off of your goal to play drums or whichever instruments you prefer.
     
  3. bubblebear

    bubblebear Princess

    hiya. i ended up shortening and summarising it. i think its okay. she hasn't replied yet so maybe she hates me or thinks im pathetic ha. thank u tho. i think i will learn drums in the future . probably when im rich and have money. *hugs*
     
    Rebreb likes this.
  4. Jack D

    Jack D SF Supporter

    I very much doubt she hates you or thinks your pathetic. I don't know how long ago at has been sent, but I believe she just must be busy with the rest of the camp goings. I played an instrument for quite a while so I agree that it can definitely play a good part in getting yourself out there and making friendships. Well done in texting her.
     
    bubblebear likes this.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi bb, I also doubt very much that she hates or or even has any negative thoughts towards you. I think your e-mail/letter is fine and written well and explained well but I would encourage you to try one more class then decide. You can handle this. Its that evil inner thought that makes you feel you cannot. If you keep going it will become a habit and normal, like a pattern to go, you might even start to enjoy it. I know and understand it's out of your comfort zone. It's your call but don't give into the evil anxiety without a lot of thought. Hope it goes well, good luck.
     
  6. bubblebear

    bubblebear Princess

    hey i think since ive sent the message its too late now to get back in :/ also i would feel awkward because i let my 'team' down. we all are put into teams for the week and we compete. yeh ur right it is out of my comfort zone, i actually did still enjoy some parts of it like our music lessons and the drumming. idk why i caved in so quickly after two days, i did a four week job and it was hard yeh but i did it. i wonder why this was harder maybe because i was up from 6am to 5pm daily and it was a lot to take in. anyways i think im rambling again. thanks for ur comment. i think this is a good learning experience either eway so il learn more about my limits and stuff. hope ur okay <3
     
    Rebreb and Petal like this.
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm fine hun - doing great at the moment. I understand your decision as I also suffer from severe anxiety. Maybe one day you can go back and join something similar to build up your self esteem and confidence. I believe in you. Never say never, one day you will master this :)
     
    Innocent Forever and bubblebear like this.
  8. lifetalkz

    lifetalkz Well-Known Member

    B-bear-That's the other great thing about never giving up on music. Who knows, once you get into a situation where you feel more comfortable-you could really start opening up creatively....maybe writing songs. Who knows what could happen? Then you can share your music with lot's of people! I believe that musical talent is a God given gift-you can't buy it. We both have that gift and it is truly a blessing! I don't think your instructor has any bad feelings towards you-he or she is probably disappointed in themselves for letting YOU down, not the other way around. Keep playing =)
     
    bubblebear likes this.
  9. Innocent Forever

    Innocent Forever Go as long as you can. And then take another step. Chat Pro SF Supporter

    I only saw this thread now............
    Thinking of you bubbles. Hope you're enjoying your summer
     
    bubblebear likes this.
  10. bubblebear

    bubblebear Princess

    ah ur grand :) my summer is okay bit anxiety provoking and boring. i hope u are okay too here have a heart <3
     
  11. Innocent Forever

    Innocent Forever Go as long as you can. And then take another step. Chat Pro SF Supporter

    Aw, thanks for the heart.
    Hope the rest of your summer goes okay... I seem to always just miss you.
    ((hugs))