Advice on social isolation: Joining a class?

[Darren Smith]

Here goes:

I am 40, completely socially isolated and severely depressed. I have been thinking about ending my life for a long while now, have been planning it for a few months, and recently I committed myself to it.

I chose to <mod eidt: bunny - methods> in the safety and comfort of my home, because I feel this is the only way I am capable of doing it without messing it up or getting 'saved'. <mod edit - methods> Also, I am terrified of heights, understand chemicals are a painful and unreliable method, and I do not want to inconvenience transport companies.

I found this site via seeking a pro-suicide chatroom where I was hoping to get some advice on an efficient <mod edit - methods> Not a pleasant experience I am sure, but one I am definitely prepared (and committed) to going through in order to solve my problems.

I chatted in the live chatroom about this and received the predictable resposes about finding God and considering people who care for me. These certainly don't work on me because I am an intelligent person, an atheist and I committed myself to my solution a while back.

Some advice did rub off on me, however, and I am now strangely considering giving it a go. The advice is to join a class or a club in order to get out and meet people. I am very shy (this is a major source of my problems) and I don't mix well. Also, I am so socially isolated that the nearest person that I know simply to talk to in the street lives about 30 miles away. I'm unemployed and I have hardly left the house in over 2 months now. I also drink heavily. I am therefore very anxious about attending a class - but I am willing to give it a go.

Does anyone have any similar experiences or useful suggestions? A painting class sounds the most appropriate to me so far. Also, I hate football.

By the way, many thanks to all those who spoke with me today in the chatroom (sorry, I don't remember your names, but if we speak again I'll post your names here as recognision and thanks). I appreciate your time and concerns a lot, and you may just have saved a life.

 

[StangerInAStrangeLand]

Hi Darren,

I read that your an atheist - I am as well. Being an atheist I will simply cease to live when I die, pitch black, nothing more. I figure, surviving as long as I can won't hurt me anymore than I am already - and I can still have suicide as a backup for the times when things get too rough for me to handle. I figure that dying won't going to get me any farther, so I may as well just live for the time being.

I too have struggled with alcoholism - it worsened my depression quite a bit. While I was drinking I was closer to suicide than I've ever been - I'm glad I got out of the rut I was in without dying. Alcoholism can be difficult to break, but with the right support to stop drinking the world can be a lot easier to cope with.

Have you thought of seeing a counselor or anyone who is a good listener (family, doctor, etc.)? The painting class sounds like a good idea to get out and meet people, I'm sure it would help out a lot. I am very shy as well - I suffer from pretty severe social anxiety (hardly get out of my house except for appointments with my counselor). Getting out becomes easier the more you do it.

If you want someone to commiserate with, feel free to PM or IM me - I'm not a god zealot nor someone who will tell you the standard response (e.g. "Think about the people who care about you."). Hang in there and let me know how the painting class goes (painting relives a lot of stress - good medicine to offer some relief).

 

[dazzle11215]

painting class sounds like a great idea. i took a drawing class a few years back and really enjoyed it, and i've taken a bunch of photography classes. there's always someone fun who has signed up for the class as well. why not give it a go?