I'm gonna get tested for MS (Multiple Sclerosis). The doctor didn't tell me what he thinks, he didn't even mentioned the MS, but I figured out for the kind of test and the symptoms he got concerned about (pain, high reflex reaction). I can't stand it. If the first test is positive, I just want to tell him "ok, give me the meds for the pain, I don't care what happens next".
I'm not the kind of person who prefers to ignore the things, on the contrary, I always want to know. But this time this is more than I can stand. These past three years and a half have been awful, but 2020 is my worst nighmare, everyday something awful happens, it's not possible, but it's happening. I'm exhausted.
Also, I could live with the diagnosis, me, myself, but telling to my family and friends... No, no, no, I can't. I can't tell people that I have MS (if I do, but the probabilities are not good for me), they will suffer and I can't deal with that.
I'm afraid, I wish I didn't have gone to the doctor. I can't deal with this, now less than ever. Life is taking everything from me, each day more, until levels impossible to believe, it's not possible that too many bad things are happening at the same time, but they do. I'm desperate, scared and broken.
I'm not the kind of person who prefers to ignore the things, on the contrary, I always want to know. But this time this is more than I can stand. These past three years and a half have been awful, but 2020 is my worst nighmare, everyday something awful happens, it's not possible, but it's happening. I'm exhausted.
Also, I could live with the diagnosis, me, myself, but telling to my family and friends... No, no, no, I can't. I can't tell people that I have MS (if I do, but the probabilities are not good for me), they will suffer and I can't deal with that.
I'm afraid, I wish I didn't have gone to the doctor. I can't deal with this, now less than ever. Life is taking everything from me, each day more, until levels impossible to believe, it's not possible that too many bad things are happening at the same time, but they do. I'm desperate, scared and broken.