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All I do is stress and worry. it's a cycle

#3
I want to die. I've attempted a number of times clearly in vain. I don't deserve life. It would be best for my beautiful family if I were gone instead of constantly disappointing them day after day. I'm destined for failure not only in every aspect if life buy mist importantly as a person. I feel Our Lord Jesus Christ has tured his back on me as I'm not worthy of his presence. I don't want to be here anymore. Everyday brings a greater awareness and so greater pain. Please I've tried hanging, I've tried overdosing, I've drank anti freeze numerous times and somehow I'm still fucking here in this he'll. I guess it's true uou really can't kill a bad thing. That's the only sense I can make of my existence.
 

another world

Well-Known Member
#4
I have so many things that trigger me. I can't even use the internet anymore, or even just think.
If you stop using the internet, or barely use it, you'll probably develop a great attention span compared to most of us these days. That could be both good and bad. You'd probably want to have various postitive hobbies, things to read or listen to, and so on. Going to a library might be a good habit to get into, for example.
 
#5
Hello Nixx, welcome to SF. I'm sorry that you want to die.
It would be best for my beautiful family
If your family loves you at all, killing yourself would be the worst thing you could do to them.
I feel Our Lord Jesus Christ has tured his back on me as I'm not worthy of his presence
Didn't Christ Himself on the cross say, "Lord, why hath thou forsaken me?"

I can't say in this moment that I know that God/Christ exists, but if He does, then surely he loves you and doesn't want you to suffer. He has not forsaken you. It's understandable that you may have doubts, but it should also be clear from the Christian tradition that you are entirely forgivable, redeemable, and dearly loved.

If you can say more about what's going on, maybe we'll be able to help.

I hope things can get better somehow.
 

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