• Please read the thread in Forum News and Announcements pertaining to race related discussion on SF - thank you :)

All too pleasant

Dante

Learned how to make a custom title in only 5 years
SF Supporter
#1
So, I know I am not up there pain-wise, it is only the fact that I passed the 18 month mark a while ago that has made this a pain. I've gained weight because any exercise sets off my side and I have to stop for a few hours until it dies down again, and I simply cant avoid it at work, I just have to power through, but that's not the point, the point is that my little cocktails of pain killers (a mixture of the strongest versions of whatever I can legally find which doesn't have contraindications with each other) gives a weird sort of slightly drifty-drowsy feeling, not enough to break concentration, but enough to let me know they are doing something, the problem is that the 1 prescription drug in the mix is not supposed to be taken for long and I'm really getting to enjoy that drifty feeling after so damned long, it gives me a warm friendly feeling, and the same moment I realised how much I like it (today) is the moment I realised WHY I enjoy it so much, because when I am feeling that drifty-drowsy feeling, I am NOT feeling broken. That sense that my internal tension (often enough to give me a splitting headache or make it hard to breathe) is the only thing keeping my head above water (emotionally speaking) is gone and I just feel calm and unburdened.

If I hadn't already proved to myself over and over that I don't have an addictive personality I would be concerned that I would just stay on these forever, as it is, its just another reason to be pissed off at the doctors for letting the pain in my side go on this long without trying to diagnose it, because my attempts to avoid the pain are easily habit forming at this point.

I know my pain and the painkillers I am working with are weak-tea compared to what many of you are dealing with, and I'm not making this thread to claim it is more than it is, the thread is more the revelation that the pills I am choking down (seriously I can swallow a fist-full of pills in 1 gulp now, #skills) are completely eradicating the constant broken feeling inside me for as long as the pills effect lasts, and if I was even mildly inclined to addiction I would NEVER stop taking them.
 

Anonymous ID

Well-Known Member
#2
When you take pain pills for reasons other than relieving pain I think you have a problem. I have a pill popping problem and it's gone too far at times and I've caused the people around me lots of worry. All I'm trying to say is BE CAREFUL!
 

Legate Lanius

Try not to kill yourself 2020 challenge.
#3
(seriously I can swallow a fist-full of pills in 1 gulp now, #skills)
I struggle to take one multivitamin pill. I have to place it correctly with water and then sort of punch the air while screaming "FUCK IT" in my head to get a medium-size pill down.

I'm not either suffering from an addictive personality (taking large amounts of caffeine and nicotine daily for years and still able to quit cold-turkey with very weak withdrawals). So is the problem here that you feel that since your current solution can't go on forever that you want to change it proactively to something more sustainable than pills? Are you worried about liver damage?

Sounds like the pills are dealing with the psych turmoil at the same time as it reduces the physical pain, maybe the psychological stuff should be dealt with via other means than pain killers. But I'm not a doctor.

Oh, and head on over to the 18/11 café to do some riddles.
 

Dante

Learned how to make a custom title in only 5 years
SF Supporter
#4
When you take pain pills for reasons other than relieving pain I think you have a problem. I have a pill popping problem and it's gone too far at times and I've caused the people around me lots of worry. All I'm trying to say is BE CAREFUL!
Don't worry, I'm still only taking them for pain, its just surprisingly pleasant when I take them.

I struggle to take one multivitamin pill. I have to place it correctly with water and then sort of punch the air while screaming "FUCK IT" in my head to get a medium-size pill down.

I'm not either suffering from an addictive personality (taking large amounts of caffeine and nicotine daily for years and still able to quit cold-turkey with very weak withdrawals). So is the problem here that you feel that since your current solution can't go on forever that you want to change it proactively to something more sustainable than pills? Are you worried about liver damage?

Sounds like the pills are dealing with the psych turmoil at the same time as it reduces the physical pain, maybe the psychological stuff should be dealt with via other means than pain killers. But I'm not a doctor.

Oh, and head on over to the 18/11 café to do some riddles.
Its quite simple, when my side hurts too much to continue, I take pills to bring the pain back within functional levels, otherwise I dont, I would love to not need them anymore but for now, until the doctors get their heads out of their asses, I am stuck with it. I think the reason why the painkillers are easing psychological pain is because one of them is a very mild opioid, (so mild you can get weaker versions over the counter) and stronger opioids like Cocaine have been shown to completely eliminate depression in an instant (for as long as the effect lasts). It could simply be a sign that the psychological pain is simply depression.

I really do enjoy it when I take the pills, but its not a long term solution and I hate being debilitated (cant exercise, physically move slower at work because of the pain) so the sooner the doctors actually do something the better, however, I am beginning to wonder, non-addictive personality and all, how long can you reasonably take painkillers which do have a (small) chance of addiction before you do become at least a little addicted. I take the pleasure from the fuzzy feeling as a bad sign.
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$150.00
Goal
$255.00
Top