Theres alot going on in my life right now, more than everything ive been through in my life combined. Its a waste to explain it all, to be honest. I wake up with the same feelings I went to sleep with, the same feelings I dream with, I even talk in my sleep, worst things kids are in the house I sleep in. Im almost to the point to call a hotline, but if I do, I feel im asking for help and in return the cops will be called and I wont be able to support anybody or habits that we have, Im afraid they will take my things away, I do have guns with permits, im sure everything I have will be touched or taken away. I havent sh in a week or so, I have the urges to, but get called out on new ones, or even if its not from sh, people look down on me when they see me. Enough going on. I know I dont have the money to get counseling, let alone prescriptions. I was going to call a local mental hospital to get quotes, but im having second thoughts.