alone

[AvidFan]

Works either way 💕💕💕

 

[Windhover]

Works either way 💕💕💕

😊 thanks 🩷
typos grr

 

[Windhover]

When my brother died, I felt I'd let him down, and that was all mixed up because I also felt mad and sad and shocked. How could I be mad at him, how f-ing selfish was I. Today it has been 4 years since I got that horrible phone call. My dear hiking buddy, fly-fisherman provider of trout dinners, beautiful, introspective yet gregarious blues piano playing brother: I miss you so much. I hope you're peaceful and joyful at a creek in the mountains of heaven.
-

 

[Lady Wolfshead]

When my brother died, I felt I'd let him down, and that was all mixed up because I also felt mad and sad and shocked. How could I be mad at him, how f-ing selfish was I. Today it has been 4 years since I got that horrible phone call. My dear hiking buddy, fly-fisherman provider of trout dinners, beautiful, introspective yet gregarious blues piano playing brother: I miss you so much. I hope you're peaceful and joyful at a creek in the mountains of heaven.
-

I hope he is, too.

 

[may71]

How could I be mad at him, how f-ing selfish was I.

Things like that happen during grief. Please be gentle with yourself.

Hugs Seabird

 

[Windhover]

During my runs (I am very slow) I occasionally think about you my brother. Always start to cry, which makes it hard to breathe. Your big shoulders would carry me up a mountainside if I needed it. But that was long ago, before the alcohol and drugs took over your body.
So I have to do my runs without you. Still the timbre of your deep voice comes out of my memories & I hear how it used to sound when you said my name.

 

[Windhover]

An arrogant person lacks compassion and is scared of self knowledge.

 

[littlebears]

During my runs (I am very slow) I occasionally think about you my brother. Always start to cry, which makes it hard to breathe. Your big shoulders would carry me up a mountainside if I needed it. But that was long ago, before the alcohol and drugs took over your body.
So I have to do my runs without you. Still the timbre of your deep voice comes out of my memories & I hear how it used to sound when you said my name.

That's beautifully written. I still have my brother's but this still hit hard. I wish you peace and healing x

 

[Windhover]

Feeling safer now and more alone, cold comfort.

 

[CrossedSeas]

 

[KM76710]

Feeling safer now and more alone, cold comfort.

Safe is always so important. After that you can work out other things.

 

[Windhover]

Safe is always so important. After that you can work out other things.

That is deceptively simple, but a reliable truth. Hope lives somewhere in there.

 

[KM76710]

That is deceptively simple, but a reliable truth. Hope lives somewhere in there.

Absolutely. Some times it is Occam's Razor sorts of things. One of my favorite quotes from Star Trek TOS, The Day of the Dove with an energy alien that feeds from violence has equal numbers of federation and Klingons fighting each other with swords and blades and heals them. Kirk convinces the Klingons that the bigger enemy is the alien keeping them fighting each other and the Klingon commander wisely states:

Only foolish people fight each other while in a burning building.

 

[Windhover]

a poignant segment & that quote is one of my 10 favorites @KM76710 .

 

[Windhover]

shock waves associated with the jets coming off this, the forming of a star.

 

[Windhover]

I knew that I had to get away, and at least intellectually am proud of that part, I guess. Now that I am free of all that it's just hugely sad. And numb. Seems unattainable though I'd like to think I can recover.
pls don't give advice on broken heart stuff
It's raining steadily today which I enjoy.
☔️☁️

 

[Windhover]

part of a good day

 

[Windhover]

"You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accoplish."

- R. P. Feynman

 

[Windhover]

There's no sense in this broken thing. I wish I hadn't been a coward amd had carried out the plan to fall into the ocean while I had the chance.

 

[KM76710]

"You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accoplish."

- R. P. Feynman

That reminds me of the title of one of his books: What Do You Care What Other People Think?