alone

[may71]

I'm glad it worked out well

 

[Windhover]

Thank you @may71 There's hope: it's a new chapter of my portfolio now. I'm almost allowed to feel like selling might once again be possible. Depression had burned my confidence to ashes, but it's slowly trickling back.

 

[Aurelia]

There is a difference between the two, but I think being alone for too long does result in loneliness, or at least it did for me.

 

[snails]

Thank you @may71 There's hope: it's a new chapter of my portfolio now. I'm almost allowed to feel like selling might once again be possible. Depression had burned my confidence to ashes, but it's slowly trickling back.

I'm sorry @seabird. I'm so glad your confidence is returning

 

[Windhover]

Thank you @snails
It's not back, but it feels like I'll get a modified version of my old confidence, if that makes sense.

 

[Windhover]

decisions

 

[Windhover]

squash flowers bloomed this morning

 

[Windhover]

time goes slowly when I am not well. When I'm busy and thinking about a lot of issues it speeds up again. I wish, sometimes, to sleep now though I've promised myself not to allow si to get started again. The flowers let life happen without thinking anything's their fault or trying to change other flowers. They probably are content with all of it, growing blooming and dying.

I did another un-lovely drawing the other day. These are 10 minute "urban sketches" of city areas. In rhe recent one, the people who got into a fancy car were fancy, nothing like me and the other regular folks in the parking lot. I didn't draw them, because I don't find them visually or philosophically interesting.

 

[snails]

time goes slowly when I am not well. When I'm busy and thinking about a lot of issues it speeds up again. I wish, sometimes, to sleep now though I've promised myself not to allow si to get started again. The flowers let life happen without thinking anything's their fault or trying to change other flowers. They probably are content with all of it, growing blooming and dying.

I did another un-lovely drawing the other day. These are 10 minute "urban sketches" of city areas. In rhe recent one, the people who got into a fancy car were fancy, nothing like me and the other regular folks in the parking lot. I didn't draw them, because I don't find them visually or philosophically interesting.

I'm really sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Do you want to talk about it?

 

[Windhover]

Thank you @snails

I would but don't have the right words.

 

[Windhover]

 

[snails]

View attachment 68859

That's OK. Those are the right 'words'. I feel your distress

 

[snails]

I'd like to be able to paint. I often think it would be therapeutic. Even just to paint the whole thing black.
Its good. Does it help at all?

 

[Windhover]

I'd like to be able to paint. I often think it would be therapeutic. Even just to paint the whole thing black.
Its good. Does it help at all?

yes it does for me.

I have sold a few paintings that were completely black, which was a pleasant surprise. Some people are attracted to them.

 

[snails]

yes it does for me.

I have sold a few paintings that were completely black, which was a pleasant surprise. Some people are attracted to them.

I think that's fantastic.
No idea how that feels but good to get those feelings out there.

 

[Windhover]

Empathy and Compassion (No advice wanted)

I feel better evn though I'm not actually better, mentally. Suicide hasn't been in my thought loops like it was in there for quite a while. It's exercise and mindfulness having the effeect of brightening my general mood, given me confidence, and started calming my panicky anxiety before it gets a huge head of steam. So I don't know if i will be on as much or if like so many times before, it all goes to pieces in darkness.

 

[may71]

I'm glad you're feeling better

If you're away from SF, I hope that time away will be good.

Hugs

 

[Windhover]

I'm glad you're feeling better

If you're away from SF, I hope that time away will be good.

Hugs

Hugs back. That's nice of you to say @may71 . Hope you are doing okay?

I always hope that my time is good, or that the bad parts are at least shorter than the good times. I hope that for everyone on this old planet, especially here on SF.

It's difficutl to make the decision to talk time away from screens, and put it towards self-care and doing what needs to be done. Sieze the day or moment by moment.

 

[snails]

Hugs back. That's nice of you to say @may71 . Hope you are doing okay?

I always hope that my time is good, or that the bad parts are at least shorter than the good times. I hope that for everyone on this old planet, especially here on SF.

It's difficutl to make the decision to talk time away from screens, and put it towards self-care and doing what needs to be done. Sieze the day or moment by moment.

How are you doing?
I can understand the need to take time away from here. It can be really difficult as well as helpful

 

[Astrid78]