Always the same... im going insane

[dying_inside]

Not that every day is the same, but they do feel like the same.

Same actions, same thoughts, same feelings.... OVER AND OVER AGAIN... EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY.
I keep doing, thinking and feeling always the same.
Im sick and tired of EVERYTHING.
i feel like im going crazy.

i keep feeling lonely but wanting to be alone...
i keep wanting to lose weight but i lose so slowly i go insane...
i keep thinking about sui but cant come out with a real definitive plan or feelings or thoughts about it...

i cant find an answer
please, talk with me, help me understand...
i swear, im going crazy here...

 

[iloverachel]

Hello my friend
I know how you feel, been battling dark thoughts for many years that never goes away
I wish i could help
My inbox is always open if you want to talk

 

[dying_inside]

Thank you
maybe its not the days im tired of but of whats going on in my mind.
it is like a broken record and its tormenting my mind.
how do i silence it?

 

[may71]

I'm sorry things are so bad. It sounds awful.

how do i silence it?

When someone asks a questions like this, sometimes they just mean to pose a rhetorical question, and other times they actually want advice. Can you clarify?

 

[Windhover]

hugs @dying_inside

I was going to ask the same sort of question as @may71 asked you

I will say this:
(from my experience of similar feelings that what I have the most agony and trouble with) is the feeling of being scared of the sense of panicky, lonely craziness. I have found that it takes effort but there are ways to reduce, if not completely silence the thoughts & self talk that fuels my fear and the panic.

 

[dying_inside]

I wish someone would tell me what to do so that all the voices doing the push-pull would stop.
but i know nobody can choose for me.
id just need somebody to help me decide or reassure me its the best choice.
again, nobody can do it...
but i really wish to silence my thoughts and feelings.
maybe im slowly getting there...
thank you for answering

 

[Windhover]

Anytime you'd like to ask about a certain kind if thought, to a specific question please know it is okay and welcomed to ask @dying_inside. I don't want to overwhelm the thread with my words.

 

[may71]

I wish someone would tell me what to do so that all the voices doing the push-pull would stop.

It sounds like you've been in therapy and on medication for a while. I think those things are good, but so far at least, inadequate. If you were just starting out on medication, I would say to look into making a medication adjustment, but if your psychiatrist has been aware of the fact that you are still having trouble with voices but hasn't changed your medication there are probably some good reasons why no adjustment has been made.

I don't think you've specifically said that you've been diagnosed with schizophrenia, but hearing voices is a typical symptom of that. There's evidence that acupuncture and Chinese herbal medicine can help with schizophrenia, so I hope you'll try that.

If that doesn't help, then I think you'd have to go to your psychiatrist or therapist and insist that you need something new or different.

I hope something can help.

 

[Ari0628]

Not that every day is the same, but they do feel like the same.

Same actions, same thoughts, same feelings.... OVER AND OVER AGAIN... EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY.
I keep doing, thinking and feeling always the same.
Im sick and tired of EVERYTHING.
i feel like im going crazy.

i keep feeling lonely but wanting to be alone...
i keep wanting to lose weight but i lose so slowly i go insane...
i keep thinking about sui but cant come out with a real definitive plan or feelings or thoughts about it...

i cant find an answer
please, talk with me, help me understand...
i swear, im going crazy here...

Hi. I feel like I can relate so much. I’m so fucking tired of everything. I don’t get anything done. I want to get back in shape but don’t workout or eat right. I want to be a better mom but I barely get anything done to make me better. I think about suicide but my brain can’t even come up with a plan to get it done

 

[Ari0628]

Hi. I feel like I can relate so much. I’m so fucking tired of everything. I don’t get anything done. I want to get back in shape but don’t workout or eat right. I want to be a better mom but I barely get anything done to make me better. I think about suicide but my brain can’t even come up with a plan to get it done

And I get what you’re saying about feeling the same way day after day same thought after thought. It’s crazy I feel like my life is on repeat every single day

 

[dying_inside]

My thoughts and feelings are always the same... focused on sui and weight loss... but since im losing weight and committing to it every day is a bit different. im really really committing to it a lot. its like... overcoming each day is a challenge and im trying to win it every day.
my plans are getting in shape. it feels a bit better...

Thank you for all the support and comments. you help me going on so much.

 

[Ari0628]

I’m really glad you’re moving towards your goal. That’s awesome. I wish I had the motivation and willpower to do so. Usually when my kids get on the bus I go back to sleep until they get off the bus when I should be using that time to exercise and take care of myself. I don’t know what’s wrong with me I do the same thing everyday despite how many times I tell myself I’m going to do better tomorrow

 

[Paul1963]

Not that every day is the same, but they do feel like the same.

Same actions, same thoughts, same feelings.... OVER AND OVER AGAIN... EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY.
I keep doing, thinking and feeling always the same.
Im sick and tired of EVERYTHING.
i feel like im going crazy.

i keep feeling lonely but wanting to be alone...
i keep wanting to lose weight but i lose so slowly i go insane...
i keep thinking about sui but cant come out with a real definitive plan or feelings or thoughts about it...

i cant find an answer
please, talk with me, help me understand...
i swear, im going crazy here...

I'm going through similar things: I'm a loner by nature, but I also have the overwhelming need to be close to someone. It's weird. The tedious repetition of the daily struggle also feels, pointless, meaningless and boring in the extreme. I have been suicidal for many years now, but am too chicken to do it, despite many plans and countless hours of thinking about it. I think it's true that some of us don't really want to die, we just want the pain to stop. So sorry you are suffering. It really does drive you crazy. 🤗

 

[Livelife]

It does drive you crazy. That's been my only thoughts today. That I have really finally crossed over that 'line' mentally and lost any ability to come back from it. It feels beyond depression. I wish there was an answer for silencing it. Some people in this forum have found some answers and peace for themselves. And that happening for others here is some hope I try and keep a connection to.