am i just a bad person?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by x7nut, Dec 26, 2012.

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  1. x7nut

    x7nut Member

    the reason i ask is the doctor said i had major depression 6 months after my last atempt at suicide. Then referred me to a head doctor but iv only seen him twice. so it seems he is'nt interrested but back to the point. i have 2 kids and my girlfriend in the house i dont feel like i care for them. i spent most of Christmas in my bedroom and did'nt phone my dad as it was his birthday on Christmas day. ive been isolating everybody and not answering my phone to my one freind that calls.
     
  2. paulhewson

    paulhewson Well-Known Member

    You're not a bad person. Not picking up the phone doesn't make you a bad person. I think everyone does that now and then. I do it all the time. It might be a good idea to give your Dad a ring sometime soon, though. Just to say hello.
     
  3. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hi Richard, and welcome to SF :) Why did your sessions with the shrink grind to a halt - was there an agreement that they should? Is it possible for you to re-start them? Your girlfriend and children will need more interaction with their partner and father at some stage (hopefully sooner rather than later) if they're going to continue to value their relationship with you to everyone's benefit. the more effort you make to be interested in them, the more dividends will pay off for you in the long run - and no one can really have a relationship with a suit-of-armour. Could you try to limit your time alone, or at least explain to your girlfriend what is troubling you so she's able to help?
     
  4. x7nut

    x7nut Member

    thanks for the advice this is the first time ive tryed the internet for chat rooms. i find it very dificult to talk about my problems with anyone. my shrink went on sick leave then i got a letter saying he will get in touch 2 months ago still no word back. i should phone my dad but i feel realy guilty. because my gran died in october and the day of her funarel i got jumped by my sister and her ex. that split the family and its my fault
     
  5. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    "got jumped"?? sorry, haven't heard that expression before

    If the shrink has written a letter saying he will get in touch again, you are totally in your rights to remind him about that, if you want to continue :)

    I am sure your Dad would love to hear from you, no matter what Richard. I know it's hard for fathers and sons to talk about stuff of a personal/emotional nature, but it really is worth all the effort in the long run, rather than just hoping things will work out without effort - they never do
     
  6. x7nut

    x7nut Member

    sorry got jumped = got attaked ended up with 3 breaks to my anke. on my dad hes hit the drink(again) since my gran died and drinks in the same place that i got attaked. which is directly across the street from one of my attackers. plus hes only interested in my brother since hes in jail.
     
  7. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    oh gosh, so your sister attacked you? I'm sorry to hear that and your Dad's depression too - perhaps helping him will also help you Richard - at least there's a chance it might keep him away from the bottle a little. The dynamics sound like it would really be beneficial to make contact with the shrink again and see what he has to say - a new perspective from a caring soul can help change things around. I know these things can and do take their time - but persevering with your Dad will help both of you a long way to feeling good about yourselves again.
     
  8. x7nut

    x7nut Member

    sorry but theres no hope with my dad. the reason he prefers my brother is he'll sit and drink with him and i dont drink i hate drink so i cant sit in a pub with him. on the shrink issue i dont think theres much point he's did'nt seem that interested so i just gave up on everybody. my mum has been trying since my last od but her affection was'nt there to start with so it just seems fake. plus when i get down my girlfreind avoids me and tells the kids im in a bad mood so to leave me alone. it feels like im at the bottom of a barrel looking up at everybody living there normal lives
     
  9. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    OK then the Dad thing must wait - it's not your fault you don't like the drinking - but it would be good to do stuff for your own well-being. It was wrong of the shrink to give you that impression, shrinks should know not to do that - but life could be so much more enjoyable for you with a new perspective which means you don't have to look up to people living their lives from the bottom of a barrel any longer.

    It is certainly possible to gain a new perspective on life Richard, and we all can learn ways to keep hope alive about this most important belief. If you want to continue our conversation either here or by PM, I'll try all I know which has helped me to do the same :)
     
  10. x7nut

    x7nut Member

    thanks for the advice i have some things i try. but it wierd because sometimes its the very small things that get to me and my first goto is suicidal thoughts. i took a test online. it was constucted by proper doctors (not one of they crackpot tests that are everywere) and they recon i have a personality disorder. cant remember the whole results but i scored 82 and between 60 something and 100 is very high. just being here helps though realy makes me realise that even when i cant talk i can type. ive told more on this form than i have anybody else ever
     
  11. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    That is why this forum is such a great place and, I believe, has helped so many - it really does help to type it out what is inside, and to know that, even if we feel we are writing the absolute worse, that it can be received and we can be validated. :)

    Am away for the weekend in case you wonder why no more replies until Tuesday
     
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