Am I wrong?

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by AJE, Mar 9, 2016.

  1. AJE

    AJE Well-Known Member

    I've decided that that's it & I want to die.
    I know how & it's my focus right now.
    I'm not scared or sad just want this pain in my heart to end for good.
    I simply cannot carry on living knowing she's going to be with someone else one day.
    I wouldn't be able to have a happy life knowing I messed up with her & she's no longer mine.
    I know there may be a very small glimmer of hope for us but I know it's futile.
    And the thought of rejection from her would just be too hard to accept.
    Why is it that this is the only thought that gives me comfort?
    Why does she have such a massive affect on me ?
    I've never ever felt like this about anybody before & I know I never would again.
    Why do I think death is the only answer ?
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Love, relationships, break ups...of course they have a big impact on us! I'm sorry things aren't working out the way you hoped.

    You're really hurting right now. Maybe it feels like the walls are crashing in on top of you. I don't know exactly what happened between you. People in relationships make all kinds of mistakes - and strong relationships work it out. People who love one another, figure out how to make things all right. If she is casually walking away from you over some misunderstanding or mistake you think you made, perhaps she is not as committed to you as you are to her. Like everyone, you deserve to have someone in your life who loves and cares about you as much as you love and care about them.

    Maybe in our feelings of loss, we are momentarily frozen and can't think straight - so "death" seems like it might be an option. I think death doesn't allow us any OTHER chances at happiness, love, joy. Death on this plane is the end of things as we know them - no pain, but no happiness, love or pleasure either. I believe you deserve better than just "nothing."

    With billions of people on Earth, she might have been one of the "right" fits for you. I'm sure there are other right fits. Maybe even "better" fits with more caring and love to give you.

    It would be sad if this one woman stole not only your happiness right now, but also your future if you were to kill yourself because she is not part of your life. You deserve BETTER than that! Please be strong and stay safe. *hug*
    AJE and AdamTide like this.
  3. AdamTide

    AdamTide Well-Known Member

    Acy is right. Try your best not to let one person have such a negative impact on you. There is life and HAPPINESS beyond her. You have a lot to offer people. Helping others can help yourself in a big way. Live for your own happiness. Her not being in your life does NOT mean your life is over. There is good to be had in life and there are people to HELP. You are going to be just fine. We're here anytime you need us.
    AJE likes this.
  4. Asdlax

    Asdlax Unwell-Known Member / INXJ 1w2 agnostic

    Because she is someone special to you. And because the wound is still fresh.

    What you are feeling at the moment isn't odd. It's very understandable. The fact that you are experiencing pain right now is a proof of your love. I believe the breakup has only recently happened. Give it time. Focus on yourself right now. With your career, dreams, hobby, anything productive. When you are 100% happy with being single, you are ready for a relationship. You can start over.

    At some point, I was where you are. I thought I couldn't go on. But look, I'm still here. NONE of the things I cried over for hours and hours make me cry anymore. It may take months, or even years, but you'll get over the loss. You're still early on in the first stage of healing process. Please have faith, have faith in yourself. You are a lot stronger than you think. You are a whole. You aren't half. With or without her, you are complete. Don't let your current emotions fool you. Be patient, the wound is still fresh. Stop picking on it and you will heal faster. It's okay to cry but don't dwell. Detach yourself from her completely. Delete her number, stop reading her old messages. Keep walking, don't look back. There is not a single love lost in the world we humans cannot recover from. But we tend to wrongly believe so and that's what makes our strength meaningless. It doesn't matter how much power one has if he doesn't believe he has it. Because he'll end up not using it. He could've fight the enemy back and won but he didn't believe in himself and so he chose to run, and run, and run, and run, then he lost. He lost when he could have won. Irony. So don't give up. Don't let the pain bring you down. You are in a critical state right now, or must I say, vulnerable. It's easy to lose hope, death may seem like a tempting option but no. Again, have faith. Get up, you are strong and one day you will be smiling with someone better. One day you will look back and you will thank yourself because you didn't give up. Make yourself proud.

    And if you two are meant to be together, you will come back together. But don't chase what's broken. Don't wait for it. As it will only ruin you. Let it go, let it flow, let it be. For what's meant to be, will be.

    Humans.. we can choose to let the pain destroy us or strengthen us. Choose the latter. It's a valuable experience. Now that you know what went wrong in your previous relationship, you will be more careful in your next one. With every failure, you walk closer to the right person.

    A successful man has failed more than your current self have ever tried. Be a successful man.

    As they say; there's a lot of fishes in the sea. Sit back, eat a cookie, sip the tea, and breathe. So many things YOU CAN do with this life, So many decisions YOU CAN make. Why choose death when death is already a promise? You'll eventually die old one day. Don't waste it. There are surprises waiting for you ahead. Realise that being alive can also mean that you are indeed free.