An Apology Letter To My Dearest Godmother

[may71]

Thanks @may71

You're welcome!

She kept saying our relationship is OVER

People say things that they don't really mean when they get emotional. Just as you said things to her that you didn't mean, she probably did the same.

As I said we were so close to each other. But now, I don't know what is the right choice (sending letter or not). On one hand, I hope I could post this letter to her. On the other hand, I'm scared to know the result, she might return my letter or throw it away. Or if her husband got this letter, probably he will throw it away directly without informing her

I think it's ok to wait until the time seems right to send this. If you never contact her out of fear though, then you might not ever restart your relationship.

Maybe you could send her an email?

I was a terrible Goddaughter. Anxiety disorder is not an excuse to get her forgiveness, also is not an excuse to forgive myself.

It sounds to me like you just got very emotional about the thought of your relationship to her ending. And the reason that you got that emotional was because of how much she means to you.

There's every reason for you to be forgiven, and for you to forgive yourself.

Do you want to say more about why her husband doesn't want you to see her?

 

[VicBB09]

You're welcome!

People say things that they don't really mean when they get emotional. Just as you said things to her that you didn't mean, she probably did the same.

I think it's ok to wait until the time seems right to send this. If you never contact her out of fear though, then you might not ever restart your relationship.

Maybe you could send her an email?


It sounds to me like you just got very emotional about the thought of your relationship to her ending. And the reason that you got that emotional was because of how much she means to you.

There's every reason for you to be forgiven, and for you to forgive yourself.

Do you want to say more about why her husband doesn't want you to see her?

My Godmother told me that her husband is jealous of me. The reason is because she has spent too many times with me. My Godmother loves outdoor activities, but he prefers stay at home, such as watching TV. He doesn't like to go to gym, shopping or watch movie with my Godmother. Therefore, me and my godmother always hangout together. Another reason is one winter night, I was sick, my godmother look after me so that she back to home quite late (about 8pm). He was mad, because my godmother didn't cook dinner for him. He locked door, didn't allow my god mother go home. From the time, he didn't talk to my godmother until now.

 

[Walker]

Her husband is a dickhead.
Send the letter.

 

[VicBB09]

Her husband is a dickhead.
Send the letter.

Hi Walker. Yes, I finally decided to send the letter to her. Thanks again.

 

[VicBB09]

Two days ago, I finally posted an apology letter and a Christmas card to my Godmother. Hopefully she won't return my letter.

 

[Walker]

Good job. I hope you get the desired result.

 

[VicBB09]

Good job. I hope you get the desired result.

Thanks Walker.

 

[may71]

Two days ago, I finally posted an apology letter and a Christmas card to my Godmother

That's good news! No matter what, you've tried to repair the relationship, and that counts for a lot.

Wishing good things for you Vic

 

[VicBB09]

That's good news! No matter what, you've tried to repair the relationship, and that counts for a lot.

Wishing good things for you Vic

Thanks so much may71. Much appreciated.

 

[VicBB09]

Just had a pre-discharge meeting. My psychiatrist kept mentioning my Godmother doesn't want to have this relationship (my Godmother told him on the phone last month). I feel so upset. I don't know how can I trust myself? How can I trust my Godmother? How can I trust our relationship? I even doubt, in her mind, I've never being her Goddaughter. I feel I'm so stupid. Maybe she helped me, supported me doesn't mean she loved me. Last Friday I posted an apology letter, maybe she already threw it away.

 

[Sassy Cat]

Just had a pre-discharge meeting. My psychiatrist kept mentioning my Godmother doesn't want to have this relationship (my Godmother told him on the phone last month). I feel so upset. I don't know how can I trust myself? How can I trust my Godmother? How can I trust our relationship? I even doubt, in her mind, I've never being her Goddaughter. I feel I'm so stupid. Maybe she helped me, supported me doesn't mean she loved me. Last Friday I posted an apology letter, maybe she already threw it away.

Hugs

 

[may71]

I don't think you did anything wrong Vic. You just got emotional because someone that you cared about deeply was being taken away from you.

Hugs

 

[VicBB09]

Christmas again, but this year, I'm scared of celebrating it as I'm ALONE. Last year me and my Godmother celebrated Christmas together. I still remember what we did last year -- we had lunch, movie, we took a lot of pics together. Also I do remember couple of months ago, she said we will celebrate Christmas together again in this year. But now, I even have no idea where is she. I've sent an email to her to wish her have a wonderful holiday and Happy New Year. I didn't get any response from her, but only received one message from one of her best friend.

I've spoken to lots of ppl, they shared their experiences with me. However, some ppl told me that I should forget about her and move on; others suggested that every couple of months I can try to send a letter/email to her, just simply update my situation to her, and hopefully one day she will reconnect with me. I don't know what can/should I do. I HATE ppl tell me to move on and focus on myself, in the mean time, I am SCARED of this uncertainty (I don't know whether she will contact me or not. I HATE this feeling). I don't know what am I doing now.

 

[may71]

but only received one message from one of her best friend

Do you think that message might have been indirectly from her? Has this friend contacted you before?

Christmas again, but this year, I'm scared of celebrating it as I'm ALONE

I know it's not the same, but there'll probably be a lot of folks to share Christmas with here.

 

[VicBB09]

Do you think that message might have been indirectly from her? Has this friend contacted you before?

I really hope it is, but Im not sure.

This lady (her friend) knows me and my Godmother are facing this tough situation. When I was in hosptial, she sent a couple of messages to me, which was in last month. On 22/Dec, I sent an email to my Godmother, which mainly wish her have a nice holiday and I mentioned I am coping with my keyworker and learning emotion management. At that time, I got a feeling that I might get message from her best friend (this lady).

 

[VicBB09]

I'm living at a supporting recovery house after I was discharged from hospital. Today one of my house mate's adoptive parents came and visited him, which reminds me of my Godmother. I almost couldn't behave myself. I wanted to cry, I wanted to call my Godmother. Everyday I speak to nurses and peer supporters, those people care about me, cook dinner for me (just like my godmother did to me before). Sometimes I feel I can hold on until one day my Godmother reconcile the relationahip with me, sometimes I feel HOPELESS and I'm still NOT confident enough to trust our relationship. I'm scared of being alone, meanwhile, I'm scared of talking to people. I feel I'm so tired....

 

[may71]

Hugs Vic

I hope she gets in touch with you soon

 

[VicBB09]

Hugs Vic

I hope she gets in touch with you soon

Thanks so much may71. I finally got reply from her. Such a wonderful "Christmas gift" for me. Her response means a lot to me.

 

[may71]

Thanks so much may71

You're welcome!

I finally got reply from her

Yay! That's such good news!