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Anniversary

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#1
The anniversary of my Uncle's death is next Saturday and as the day gets closer I find myself getting more emotional. It's been many years but sometimes it still hurts like it's yesterday. Once he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer he went very quickly and I was away at college. I didn't see him much during those final days although I know that was partly because he didn't want his niece and nephews to see him dying.

The past few years I've handled this better, but 2020 has not been a normal year. We lost 2 other close relatives back in April. I haven't been working since the beginning of August so I have been at home thinking too much but also working on mental health at the same time.

So many times this year in particular I have wanted to talk to him in the worst way. Even if it could only be 15-20 minutes. My therapist suggested writing a letter to him but whenever I get started I cry.

I miss him so fucking much and it's terrible when wonderful, loving people's lives are cut short.
 
#2
Sorry that you lost him.

I'm also glad that you had him in your life. As much as it hurts, you probably would rather have had him in your life and lost him, than to never have had him in your life at all.

Maybe eventually you can replace the pain of losing him with gratitude for having known someone you loved so much that it hurts that they're no longer there.

Sending hugs
 
#4
I’m so sorry @lightning05
Would it be easier if you just used voice memo’s, or something similar (on your phone)? I think I know what you mean tho ugh... with the difficulty; I think that if I were to try to do the same, or similar with my grandma, I couldn’t go it in the present tense. So, in other words I might be better able to get through it if I recalled a happy / happier time, or memory with her from the past, in a sort of positive, uplifting sense (as opposed to trying to discuss anything going on more recent ly, th at may be filled with regret). At least.., for the start!
 

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#5
Maybe eventually you can replace the pain of losing him with gratitude for having known someone you loved so much that it hurts that they're no longer there.
This is definitely something that I do feel. Thank you for the thoughtful reply @may71 .

@MisterBGone I do focus a lot on the positive memories that we have even when it comes to the little things.. like eating disco fries, going shopping, jokes he'd tell.. I have a lot of great memories and things that remind me of him and keep him close. I could try a voice memo on a phone and just talking.. although I'm not even sure what I would say except I miss you and I love you! But that is probably enough. I will always keep him in my heart.

@KM76710 Thank you for your reply also *hug
 
#12
Warm. . . Warmer—(“Dis-co!”) ...that’s what your emoji reminded me of, a scene from the pulp picture w/uma & John -(I think..;))!~* ‘tis been too long - when were the 90’s again? And did they ever really come to an end! (Not in my head. . :D )_.^•*<~:)
 

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