Lucky you but have you been in your family home for 59years and looked after as a carer for your parents until they died only for my three sisters bullying me to get out the house even though they have their own homes and families. Coming down to the house taking some of my things throwing away some of my parents things listening to my telephone messages and ringing my mental health worker. I cannot forgive that sort of behaviour and neither can my legal team you are behind me all the way to get a fair share of my inheritance. If I could overcome it believe me I would but the totally unnecessary pressure put on me by my sisters is uncalled for which is why it is very hard to stand up to the things that are said by them and what they are trying to do with no thought about my welfare or what my parents would have wanted for me.
Wow what a lovely soul you have. Your parents did a fine job in raising you. I wish more people would take care of their ailing folks as you did in your self-sacrificing love. You didn't hesitate to take on this honorable duty either I bet. My heart goes out to you in your pain. Your sisters are falsely accusing your character because you did the right thing. It hurts; no doubt. But this trial will eventually end, and someday they will see how greed had changed their principles and characters towards you and they will feel shame. Even if they deny it to death; they will. I am sure your parents raised them better than that seeing they did so with you. Am I right? Money and worldly possessions can change people. As you well know it's ugly. But is that who they truly are or who they choose to be by the greed they give into?
Anger is a natural backlash to pain. Everyone does it, but your tender soul is suffering terribly from it because it goes against who you are. It's a war I have faced as well. Anger, hurt and rage. And it poisoned my character for so long that I couldn't recognize myself. I hated who I allowed myself to become, and I wanted to die. Which wasn't right and I knew it. It tore me away from my family, and those I deeply cared about. All in all it was ruining my life.
As I have said before in other posts. Forgiving isn't for them. It's for you. To break the chains that hold YOU down. To end the suffering that it causes YOU. I am confident that your parents would be ashamed of this whole situation if they were still alive. They like most parents; wanted to give financial help to their children when they pass. Not to tear the family apart by the greed displayed today. Does it make you weak by staying true to their teaching by forgiving your sisters gross behavior? I would say it makes you incredibly strong and wise. Doing the right thing on your part is something you can control. We cannot control others. They have to learn on their own, and they will by you. Over time.
I only talk to you like this because you seem like a genuine caring woman. One that can be reasoned with. My advice is optional of course, and it may take time to accomplish. There is no magic wand that *poof* all goes away. That isn't what I say at all. I apologize to any who get that impression. It takes effort and the choice to stay true to oneself and your convictions. I refuse to believe that someone as caring as you would normally act this way under normal circumstances. It just doesn't fit with what you have shared about yourself. So what's holding you back?