Are you a boarding school survivor? (May be triggering if you are)

[Madam Mim]

I was sent to boarding school at the age of seven, to a school on the other side of the country, for nearly ten years. I left nine years ago, but have only very recently realised what effect my education had on me.

Having broken down over my 'failure' at GCSE level (I got As and Bs) during a tutorial at university, I was sent to counselling. It's only since then that I began to research the effects of boarding school. It's incredibly scary to read psychologists' descriptions - they're all about me! I realise now that every aspect of my personality has been shaped by my horrific school experiences.

The more I read, the more disgusted I am by the whole system, although on the outside and in 'real life', I would never admit it, and have very conflicting thoughts about it.

I just wondered if anyone else here is an ex-boarder, because I would be very interested to hear your views, especially as I don't really have anyone to talk to about it.

Mim

 

[old codger]

Hi Madam Mim,

I wonder to what extent this is still an issue for you, its an old post of yours but in my experience the effects have been very longstanding

I boarded from age 8 back in '65 and have only just started online research into looking at the effects, I contacted a group in london and there is talk about forming a forum for 'Boarding School Survivors'

I was sent to boarding school at the age of seven, to a school on the other side of the country, for nearly ten years. I left nine years ago, but have only very recently realised what effect my education had on me.

Having broken down over my 'failure' at GCSE level (I got As and Bs) during a tutorial at university, I was sent to counselling. It's only since then that I began to research the effects of boarding school. It's incredibly scary to read psychologists' descriptions - they're all about me! I realise now that every aspect of my personality has been shaped by my horrific school experiences.

The more I read, the more disgusted I am by the whole system, although on the outside and in 'real life', I would never admit it, and have very conflicting thoughts about it.

I just wondered if anyone else here is an ex-boarder, because I would be very interested to hear your views, especially as I don't really have anyone to talk to about it.

Mim

 

[windlepoons]

Yes I am, and it did affect me, I think the problem was being the only English person in a Scots school I was always different! never a good thing. Oh and never getting away from the bullies, of course. Sleeping in the same room as them made school feel safer as I had friends at school. I was only a weekly boarder but still you learn to hide yourself, not show any emotion, and most of all to count the hours, constantly. I know I will never 'get over it'.

 

[dreamer11]

I went to a boarding schol as well, and while it was only for high-school and I've been out for three years, it deeply affected my social development and self-esteem. Going to an out-of-state, all-girls school with very strict policies and without a brother school, I never met boys my age or had typical experiences of high schoolers (ex. taking a date to prom, kissing a boy). While I now have male friends in college, I still struggle romantically because I don't feel like I got the baseline experiences that others had. On a separate note, I was bullied by my former clique of friends at the school and teased for my appearance and it was implied that I was fat, when I am not. It added to my instilled insecurities from my parents. I have only read studies about why boarding schools (especially single-gender ones) are good for development, could you please attach some links or articles you're referring to that show a different viewpoint? It would really mean a lot to me.