When I was young I was notorious for falling into bad moods. It was treated by my parents (and maybe a case of brushing a real issue under the rug) as simply a bad mood. That is, it was no big deal, just a little annoying. ... that I would get over it later. Maybe I did.
I often think that living in this world there is good reason for feeling bad. War, poverty and you know, on and on. Then there is a person’s life circumstances. (as well, the mysterious issue that may have been brushed under the rug).
But is a child just feeling bad and maybe getting over it later, or one feeling horrible about the world, life and what else, a case of depression or sadness?
Then there is another factor that I consider pertaining to my sadness or depression. It is something in my upbringing. I wonder if there are equivalents in other people’s lives. I can only speculate on issues of neglect and or abuse, but my father was very outspoken about war, oppression, discrimination etc. Might he have been painting a picture of hopelessness in a child who was not yet able to take control of his own life? Then, my father was also very blaming of his own failings on society instead of his own inactions. Right or wrong, a child looks up to a parent. Could I have learned that it is society that is to blame for one’s problems to the degree that trying to change appears impossible and thus becomes impossible? And further, leads to sadness that may lead to depression?
As I was growing up I learned erroneously that when you feel bad you are “depressed”. Depression not being an illness but a way of saying you are unhappy at the moment. Then if I happened to say “depression” to a provider, we are not talking about the same thing and we don’t realize it.
So I wonder, is there an overall confusion about the conditions? And further, Is this confusion actually bringing on wrong diagnoses and even bringing on depression when before diagnosis the causes of sadness are mishandled and even being brushed under the rug?
I think how people are addressing the problems and not addressing them could actually be causing confusion among providers and patients.
Mental healthcare providers have asked me how long I’ve been depressed. I myself do not know the answer to that question and sometimes they appear to simply assume that my issue is clinical depression. Other times they seem to drop depression from consideration or accept my answer, that maybe I’ve been depressed for so long without ever knowing that I do not realize I am living lifelong with depression.
Then I’ve heard that depression is an imbalance in the brain. I don't understand this enough but could it be that knowing of war and poverty etc bring on the imbalance? Or is feeling bad about the world’s ills only a symptom of an existing problem?
Sometimes I read posts here and I wonder, is this person sad, or depressed? or both? Some times I really want to help by saying something, but I am at a loss. More I want to cry than be able to be truly constructive in a reply. It is my guess that if it is depression as I understand it, overcoming the problem might be difficult at best. On the other hand, if it is saddness, maybe the individual could really take steps when they just don’t want to for reasons that may really be real to them.
I keep asking myself, is there something I can say that might help them find a way to go beyond the sadness when that sadness might only be a desire to be sad. I do say it could be a desire to be sad because maybe the individual is honoring a sad incident that way. That to me is so necessary and justifiable - but then getting stuck in not getting over it. Maybe this is what happened with me having my past tormenter (which i no longer mention with a name).
I ask this question: Are You Depressed or Sad? because I do wonder, might many people be confused as to which state they are in? That they could be avoiding professional help when they need it or avoiding being proactive when they could be taking steps on their own?
For me, I recently was able to take a step when for most of my life, I believed I could not. I just don’t understand what was going on with me. I felt hopeless all the time. And my tormenter gradually over many years became more powerful. In the past 4 years I think mostly through my own efforts I have been able to process things so that one day last week, I was able to make a decision when before I was not able or at least did not realize that I was able.
I am hoping that by asking this question, people will leave answers but more importantly allow themselves to look inside in cases where looking inside can be effective and begin to be more proactive in getting over their own problems. I believed for so long that I could not. I really tried. But maybe patience and effort does make a difference. This is not intended to avoid or rule out treatment - whatever it be, but to help anyone who it can help discover a way to heal that might be hidden.
We had a little game here at home that was called I think Traffic Jam or Rush Hour. It had many cars and a board to place them on, with progressively more difficult patterns. The task is to get through from one end to the other by moving cars out of the way wherever moving them cold be done. There was only one way to get “you” through the jam from one end to the other. I no longer believe that there is ‘no way’. It is the discovery of that “way”: method and or opportunity that has to become apparent.
