Are You Sure I'm Not Alone?
- Thread starter Sevven
- Start date
Hi, Sevven. It sounds like you’re going through a rough time, feeling that no one cares. I’m sorry you’re feeling that way. Reaching out here is good. You are seen and heard and cared about here.
What makes you believe you are obnoxious and unlikeable? I don’t think you are any more obnoxious or unlikeable than the average person. Sometimes we have ideas about ourselves that only “we” think are true. Maybe let the world decide about you instead of walking into life convinced you are obnoxious and unlikeable. I’m happy to get to know you better. So far, you seem good to me.
Sevven, what are your interests and such in life? Do you have a thing for frogs and toadstools? Or was that just a lucky picture you found for your avatar? He’s cute and the red toadstool is amazing!)
What makes you believe you are obnoxious and unlikeable? I don’t think you are any more obnoxious or unlikeable than the average person. Sometimes we have ideas about ourselves that only “we” think are true. Maybe let the world decide about you instead of walking into life convinced you are obnoxious and unlikeable. I’m happy to get to know you better. So far, you seem good to me.
Sevven, what are your interests and such in life? Do you have a thing for frogs and toadstools? Or was that just a lucky picture you found for your avatar? He’s cute and the red toadstool is amazing!)
Hi, Sevven. It sounds like you’re going through a rough time, feeling that no one cares. I’m sorry you’re feeling that way. Reaching out here is good. You are seen and heard and cared about here.
What makes you believe you are obnoxious and unlikeable? I don’t think you are any more obnoxious or unlikeable than the average person. Sometimes we have ideas about ourselves that only “we” think are true. Maybe let the world decide about you instead of walking into life convinced you are obnoxious and unlikeable. I’m happy to get to know you better. So far, you seem good to me.
Sevven, what are your interests and such in life? Do you have a thing for frogs and toadstools? Or was that just a lucky picture you found for your avatar? He’s cute and the red toadstool is amazing!)
What makes you believe you are obnoxious and unlikeable? I don’t think you are any more obnoxious or unlikeable than the average person. Sometimes we have ideas about ourselves that only “we” think are true. Maybe let the world decide about you instead of walking into life convinced you are obnoxious and unlikeable. I’m happy to get to know you better. So far, you seem good to me.
Sevven, what are your interests and such in life? Do you have a thing for frogs and toadstools? Or was that just a lucky picture you found for your avatar? He’s cute and the red toadstool is amazing!)
I try really hard to be objective and when I turn that lens on myself I always cringe. I'm too opinionated, always hear the wrong thing falling out of my mouth, get too personal too fast, etc. And I see myself being an embarrassment and can never seem to get ahead of myself.
I'm pretty great alone, but mixed with others....it gets uncomfortable fairly quickly.
I have a handful of pretty specific interests. I like to collect natural objects and make resin jewelry. I really like discovering new music, I love photography, travelling, poetry to read and to write and Animal Crossing. lol. I DO love frogs, toads and toadstools! You know how certain things just bring you joy the moment you see them? That's how I feel about amanita muscaria. They're just vibrant and beautiful! Frogs were a symbol to me for the longest of the necessity of transformation throughout life, and even the inclination of nature to behave 100% impartially and not bat an eye at life and death as we destroy one another. (Bullfrogs are sometimes cannibalistic.) And toads are just charming fellows.
Sorry if that was too long.
Sevven, you seem quite an interesting person with many and diverse interests! Making resin jewelry with natural objects — I’m thinking that would be very pretty! And the other interests you’ve mentioned — you are artistic and arts oriented. I think you are lucky in regard to that!
Yay for frogs, toads, and toadstools! I had a “frog collection” for many years…ornaments, not real frogs! At the peak of the collection I had over 150. Frogs are very sweet. So are toads!
Could it be that you are a good, interesting person and delightful to boot, but are not necessarily thrilled at being in a “group”? It sounds like one-to-one or a small group of two or three might be your cup of tea. That would probably mean you are an introvert and somewhat reserved. Introverts feel energy being drained when they must interact a lot. It makes it hard for them to be excessively social. Extraverts, on the other hand, thrive on getting energy from being with others. It all comes down to interpersonal style, and one is not really better than the other. Traditionally, people tend to gravitate to the extroverts — likely because they are the ones making the noice and doing the hullabaloo for everyone’s amusemeant. Gravitating at first is not the same as eventually becoming friends with someone. I kind of prefer quieter folks as friends, because I’m quiet and I don’t feel pressured to be louder/bigger/more oomphy than I am.
You sound like someone who observes people, places, surroundings…to get a feel for things before jumping in. Nothing wrong with that. The snag is that other people do sometimes rush past those of us who are sitting quietly and they might think we have nothing to say. And they can get so used to us being quiet that they don’t hear us when we do speak up. So it‘s important to find that delicate balance of liking ourselves for who we are, and extending our comfort zone a bit so people don’t forget about us.
My suggestion to you is to enjoy being yourself. And when there is a chance to join in, do so if/when you are comfortable. To remain comfortable, keep some perspective on what each interaction really means…is it really the only chance to meet people?…does it really matter if this person or this group makes a fuss about you/your project/your interest?…is it a first try to mingle with a group you don’t know well? — that’s hard to measure…There will be more chances. Each time is just one little moment of your life. The people who will appreciate you will come along and you won’t have to fuss to get them to see you and be good to you. I would say, try not to make your whole sense of self rely on how any one group interaction pans out. Some interactions will be okay, some will not. Like other skills, social skills take practice. You’ll do just fine, I’m sure!
Some people, such as me, never particularly enjoy large group things. I do them when I must, but find my real friendships are more often a one-to-one thing or small groups. I’m not unfriendly or unlikeable. I’m quiet and reserved. I think you might be too.
Yay for frogs, toads, and toadstools!
I had a “frog collection” for many years…ornaments, not real frogs! At the peak of the collection I had over 150. Frogs are very sweet. So are toads!Could it be that you are a good, interesting person and delightful to boot, but are not necessarily thrilled at being in a “group”? It sounds like one-to-one or a small group of two or three might be your cup of tea. That would probably mean you are an introvert and somewhat reserved. Introverts feel energy being drained when they must interact a lot. It makes it hard for them to be excessively social. Extraverts, on the other hand, thrive on getting energy from being with others. It all comes down to interpersonal style, and one is not really better than the other. Traditionally, people tend to gravitate to the extroverts — likely because they are the ones making the noice and doing the hullabaloo for everyone’s amusemeant. Gravitating at first is not the same as eventually becoming friends with someone. I kind of prefer quieter folks as friends, because I’m quiet and I don’t feel pressured to be louder/bigger/more oomphy than I am.
You sound like someone who observes people, places, surroundings…to get a feel for things before jumping in. Nothing wrong with that. The snag is that other people do sometimes rush past those of us who are sitting quietly and they might think we have nothing to say. And they can get so used to us being quiet that they don’t hear us when we do speak up. So it‘s important to find that delicate balance of liking ourselves for who we are, and extending our comfort zone a bit so people don’t forget about us.
My suggestion to you is to enjoy being yourself. And when there is a chance to join in, do so if/when you are comfortable. To remain comfortable, keep some perspective on what each interaction really means…is it really the only chance to meet people?…does it really matter if this person or this group makes a fuss about you/your project/your interest?…is it a first try to mingle with a group you don’t know well? — that’s hard to measure…There will be more chances. Each time is just one little moment of your life. The people who will appreciate you will come along and you won’t have to fuss to get them to see you and be good to you. I would say, try not to make your whole sense of self rely on how any one group interaction pans out. Some interactions will be okay, some will not. Like other skills, social skills take practice. You’ll do just fine, I’m sure!
Some people, such as me, never particularly enjoy large group things. I do them when I must, but find my real friendships are more often a one-to-one thing or small groups. I’m not unfriendly or unlikeable. I’m quiet and reserved. I think you might be too.
Sevven, you seem quite an interesting person with many and diverse interests! Making resin jewelry with natural objects — I’m thinking that would be very pretty! And the other interests you’ve mentioned — you are artistic and arts oriented. I think you are lucky in regard to that!
Yay for frogs, toads, and toadstools! I had a “frog collection” for many years…ornaments, not real frogs! At the peak of the collection I had over 150. Frogs are very sweet. So are toads!
Could it be that you are a good, interesting person and delightful to boot, but are not necessarily thrilled at being in a “group”? It sounds like one-to-one or a small group of two or three might be your cup of tea. That would probably mean you are an introvert and somewhat reserved. Introverts feel energy being drained when they must interact a lot. It makes it hard for them to be excessively social. Extraverts, on the other hand, thrive on getting energy from being with others. It all comes down to interpersonal style, and one is not really better than the other. Traditionally, people tend to gravitate to the extroverts — likely because they are the ones making the noice and doing the hullabaloo for everyone’s amusemeant. Gravitating at first is not the same as eventually becoming friends with someone. I kind of prefer quieter folks as friends, because I’m quiet and I don’t feel pressured to be louder/bigger/more oomphy than I am.
You sound like someone who observes people, places, surroundings…to get a feel for things before jumping in. Nothing wrong with that. The snag is that other people do sometimes rush past those of us who are sitting quietly and they might think we have nothing to say. And they can get so used to us being quiet that they don’t hear us when we do speak up. So it‘s important to find that delicate balance of liking ourselves for who we are, and extending our comfort zone a bit so people don’t forget about us.
My suggestion to you is to enjoy being yourself. And when there is a chance to join in, do so if/when you are comfortable. To remain comfortable, keep some perspective on what each interaction really means…is it really the only chance to meet people?…does it really matter if this person or this group makes a fuss about you/your project/your interest?…is it a first try to mingle with a group you don’t know well? — that’s hard to measure…There will be more chances. Each time is just one little moment of your life. The people who will appreciate you will come along and you won’t have to fuss to get them to see you and be good to you. I would say, try not to make your whole sense of self rely on how any one group interaction pans out. Some interactions will be okay, some will not. Like other skills, social skills take practice. You’ll do just fine, I’m sure!
Some people, such as me, never particularly enjoy large group things. I do them when I must, but find my real friendships are more often a one-to-one thing or small groups. I’m not unfriendly or unlikeable. I’m quiet and reserved. I think you might be too.
Yay for frogs, toads, and toadstools!
I had a “frog collection” for many years…ornaments, not real frogs! At the peak of the collection I had over 150. Frogs are very sweet. So are toads!Could it be that you are a good, interesting person and delightful to boot, but are not necessarily thrilled at being in a “group”? It sounds like one-to-one or a small group of two or three might be your cup of tea. That would probably mean you are an introvert and somewhat reserved. Introverts feel energy being drained when they must interact a lot. It makes it hard for them to be excessively social. Extraverts, on the other hand, thrive on getting energy from being with others. It all comes down to interpersonal style, and one is not really better than the other. Traditionally, people tend to gravitate to the extroverts — likely because they are the ones making the noice and doing the hullabaloo for everyone’s amusemeant. Gravitating at first is not the same as eventually becoming friends with someone. I kind of prefer quieter folks as friends, because I’m quiet and I don’t feel pressured to be louder/bigger/more oomphy than I am.
You sound like someone who observes people, places, surroundings…to get a feel for things before jumping in. Nothing wrong with that. The snag is that other people do sometimes rush past those of us who are sitting quietly and they might think we have nothing to say. And they can get so used to us being quiet that they don’t hear us when we do speak up. So it‘s important to find that delicate balance of liking ourselves for who we are, and extending our comfort zone a bit so people don’t forget about us.
My suggestion to you is to enjoy being yourself. And when there is a chance to join in, do so if/when you are comfortable. To remain comfortable, keep some perspective on what each interaction really means…is it really the only chance to meet people?…does it really matter if this person or this group makes a fuss about you/your project/your interest?…is it a first try to mingle with a group you don’t know well? — that’s hard to measure…There will be more chances. Each time is just one little moment of your life. The people who will appreciate you will come along and you won’t have to fuss to get them to see you and be good to you. I would say, try not to make your whole sense of self rely on how any one group interaction pans out. Some interactions will be okay, some will not. Like other skills, social skills take practice. You’ll do just fine, I’m sure!
Some people, such as me, never particularly enjoy large group things. I do them when I must, but find my real friendships are more often a one-to-one thing or small groups. I’m not unfriendly or unlikeable. I’m quiet and reserved. I think you might be too.
Idk that I'm an introvert, necessarily, but maybe I am.....I do definitely get drained by too much interaction. But it's nice to talk here.
