at work :(

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by gelfling, Jun 14, 2014.

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  1. gelfling

    gelfling Active Member

    I am at work, trying really hard to be here and not in my head. In my head where I am jumping out of my skin and wanting to just run off and hide or better yet, disappear - forever. At work where I have to be professional and help people who do nothing but complain about everything from costs to how things are not going the way they want them to - even though they don't do their part to make it happen. At work where my coworkers and I have been stretched too thin for too long trying to do the work of 8 people with barely 6. At work where we constantly put ourselves in harms way and get bitched out because of it. At work - where I can't get into chat to get some support for how out of control I feel. At work where I don't feel safe talking to anyone about how I am really doing. At work where I have to force myself to go through the door. At work where I have to put on a mask and pretend I care when I really would love to shout at these people and tell them what I am really thinking. At work where I have to go back to right now ....
  2. Isaak

    Isaak Active Member

    Look for new work. Seriously. One of my biggest mistakes was not following this advice.
  3. gelfling

    gelfling Active Member

    Problem is everywhere in my field it is the same stuff....I have worked in different states and in different types of offices and it remains the same. Too much left in student loans to walk away at this point and no other skills to earn enough to go into different field and pay the bills.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I read this thread several hours ago but to be honest didn't know what to say other than change your work. Now that I have seen your latest reply, I will add something. Regarding your loans, is there any way that you could get the loan spread out a bit more so that it becomes more affordable? or get a different role in your current job, such as in the office instead of on the floor? Just throwing out suggestions. Maybe none of it is possible, but worth a try.. :hug:
  5. gelfling

    gelfling Active Member

    I really appreciate the replies. It makes me feel like I am not alone and am at least being heard, unlike so many of the areas of my life.

    I suppose I should tell you I am a veterinarian and while I love the surgery, medicine, etc. it is the other crap that stresses me out and makes me want to quit. After my accident I spread my loans out because I had no job and was afraid I would lose my house. Out of $100,000 in loans I only have $20,000 left to pay off and have already paid some in full. Had I not lost my job they would have been paid off over 3 years ago. But if wishes were horses, beggars would ride and all those colloquialisms.

    I am looking for jobs at other clinics. I have a large backlog of records that I have to get done and a rather large debt I owe to the clinic for the care or my rather large group of animules that need to be addressed before I can just walk away free and clear.

    Regardless of finding a new place, I will still have to give a large amount of notice, and hopefully any place that would hire me would let me work part time until my notice time is over and then move me into full time. Although I suppose I could always go mobile and work for myself.

    When the depression is getting bad the stress of anything different is almost paralyzingly - the proverbial catch 22.
  6. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Going mobile and working for yourself sounds as though it has a lot of promise to it gelfling..... My hubby bit this bullet 12 years ago after working for a firm for 28 years - he has never been happier, more relaxed, more in control of his life, more fulfilled, he just loves it...... (although there's a whole lot of difference between your skills and his, it's the principle that works the same :) )
  7. Isaak

    Isaak Active Member

    Change your work. Doesn't matter if you perceive your complaints to be endemic to your field. Trust me, if you can get a job elsewhere, do so. Vote with your feet. It is refreshing to start anew.
  8. Ljt

    Ljt Well-Known Member

    I agree. I think a fresh start could do you good. What have you to lose. Go for it.
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