Attracting bullies

[ChristieMaria]

Does anyone else attract bullies no matter what they do? My current workplace is the second one in a row where I have been bullied. This latest one has made me feel suicidal. She managed to convince the boss I am a bad person. I wondered why the boss was speaking to me rudely but I didn't realise this other person was lying to her about me. Every time I talk to someone (we live in a small community), I think they have heard the false rumours about me and I feel shame and sadness. I spend the majority of my time at home now. I don't have any hope of making friends to being connected to anyone in the future. I don't feel I have enough exact evidence to sue her, but I do feel the bullying has ruined my life.

 

[Pebble mouse]

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. It's disheartening when adults behave this way. Remember, their actions speak volumes about who they are, not who you are.

 

[may71]

Every time I talk to someone (we live in a small community), I think they have heard the false rumours about me and I feel shame and sadness.

It could be that it's a fear that you're projecting, but it's also possible that their are false rumors being spread.

Gossiping is a kind of malicious entertainment and bullying that is unfortunately common, and the people who engage in behavior like this tend to pick people who are the most vulnerable. If you are not very engaged in your community and are not in a position to either discover who is talking about you or to counterattack, you may be more likely to be gossiped about.

 

[ChristieMaria]

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. It's disheartening when adults behave this way. Remember, their actions speak volumes about who they are, not who you are.

Thank you Pebble Mouse. My mind is consumed with it and I go back and forth between 'it's me, there's something wrong with me that everyone can see' and 'it's their problem as they're acting this way'. I'm hoping my mind can settle today and I can return to inhabiting my life.

 

[ChristieMaria]

It could be that it's a fear that you're projecting, but it's also possible that their are false rumors being spread.

Gossiping is a kind of malicious entertainment and bullying that is unfortunately common, and the people who engage in behavior like this tend to pick people who are the most vulnerable. If you are not very engaged in your community and are not in a position to either discover who is talking about you or to counterattack, you may be more likely to be gossiped about.

I love the way you have put this so perfectly. Malicious entertainment. None of the people involved have had any of the challenges I've had to overcome. The bully definitely did pick me specifically. When I started at this work my mother had just passed away and I had to start to be around the alcoholic, abusive family members in order to visit her as she was dying.

I was working and providing for my children, as I'm responsible for them and couldn't fall apart, but I wasn't ok inside. I opened up to her as I thought she was kind and interested but she was just gathering information on how to wreck me the most. I don't understand this kind of mind. I guess I'm lucky that way. Thanks for replying. I'm going to take these responses with me through the day today and not feel so isolated.

 

[may71]

Sending hugs if you would like hugs