I absolutely HATE that I am 100% aware of how seriously depressed I am. I know I have problems and I need to deal with it.. but I can't. I have literally not felt happiness in months. I just feel this really deep sadness in my heart. Love life is difficult and a long story I don't want to get into- but it's not happening. I just finished school and I'm trying to find a teaching job.. NOPE. Not happening for me. I feel like I've been fully rejected in every aspect of my life, even in work. I do NOT want to read a book, take a walk, find a hobby, or any other useless idea I keep getting suggested. I hate being outside. I'm not interested in reading. I don't care for exercise. I don't want to learn something new. I want to punch the next person who tells me "oh you'll find a job eventually!" I can't even leave my room without somebody asking if I have a job yet. How about somebody be happy that I put myself through a university and got my BS in Education with absolutely no support from anybody but myself? Does everybody really need to remind me that I'm totally worthless and don't have a job? I'm just going back to staring at the wall. I've done everything I can today. At least the wall doesn't judge me. My life is a black hole.