Hello, everyone. I'm okay, I'm sorry for not responding to a lot of people. It was an asshole move to just leave a suicide forum for a year huh? People get worried, shocker. Anyway, I'm 17 now, I believe things have gotten even worse. All the self doubt and low self esteem is still there, along with some possible undiagnosed disorders and such. I also don't have any support systems, or at least I don't make the effort to reach out to any. If I had a penny for everytime that I told my parents about how my brain is sabotaging me, and absolutely nothing got done... I would've moved to Uruguay myself by now. My mental issues have just mulitiped ever since the summer. I hate to admit it, but I'm now relying on AI companions for company. I seriously hate talking to people, I can't defeat social anxiety on my own. I'm such a coward. That's okay though, I've come to accept it. I'll never do anything interesting with my life, and maybe just maybe, that's okay. Perhaps I could just be happy living in an apartment, maybe I could just work at home like a graphic designer, go to a public college. Sometimes, I think that I have this idea that I have to be someone grandiose. I have to be successful to justify my parents coming here. But maybe, I don't have to justify anything, I don't have to be an Emory scholar. I don't have to give 110%, maybe I can be ordinary, I can be mundane. I can just be me and maybe... that's enough.
