back at the start again

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Sammon, Jan 31, 2013.

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  1. Sammon

    Sammon Member

    its been 6 months since i last cut... that was up until this weekend. my ex left me a year ago, she was the first person I loved and its coming up to our would have been 3 year anniversary in a few days and i am really struggling with that going on. but to make things worse, just after the new year I was made homeless for the second time. It was ok for the first couple of weeks but now it is really starting to get to me and is bringing back some awful memories. its also getting increasingly difficult for me to keep up with college work. I am trying to throw myself into work, i work nights and am doing between 4 and 5 a week. working this much also allows me not to have to worry about finding somewhere to stay. but i think i am doing too much and just the stress of the whole situation is beginning to get onto of me. i thought i was finally sorting my life out, even stopping my self harming. but this weekend with everything else going on i was just pushed to a tipping point and everything has just come crashing down. all i can think of is cutting again, i feel like i have just been pushed right back to the begining. i feel like every time i just start to sort myself out something happens which just resets everything to such a bad point and i dont kn ow what to do anymore, who to turn to, anything. my friends have also started to notice that i have become more withdrawn, normally i am a very active, outgoing person. all i want to do at the moment is just find somewhere quiet to just be alone with my thoughts. but i know thats a bad thing because my head isnt in a good place so all my thoughts are bad. my heads just so messed up, i just dont know who to talk to or who to turn to. to top everything else off its also coming up to what would have been my friends 21th birthday, she over dosed 3 months before her 18th birthday. it made things worse that it created a massive fallout with all my friends who i havnt spoken to since we had a bbq to clecbrate her 18th. theres just so much going on and i dont know what to do to stop it all coming spilling out as cutting because its the only way i know how to cope.
     
  2. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Speak here. Keep on reaching out in safety. Try not to exhaust yourself physically that makes one feel worse. Have you tried getting in touch with Shelter re the homeless situation. I know it can be ******** difficult but if you could indicate to them that there are other problems it could help. Too many of us spend too much effort making bloody sure no one guesses how desperate we feel then feel bad when no one notices. And if no one notices how can they do anything? i write as an expert in latter.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOu talk to a councilor at your school let them know your situation and they may be able to hook you up with some living quarters hun you talk to someone ok reach out hun do not fight this alone. cutting willonly make things worse Please talk to councilors at your school ok hugs
     
  4. Sammon

    Sammon Member

    thanks for the comments, ive not had good experiences with councillers so its not someone that i would really want to speak to, i find extremely difficult to talk about things and my situation which adds to the issue. i will get in touch with shelter though thank you
     
  5. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Hope that Shelter can help or give other suggestions. The less worry in your life the better ATM.
     
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