Back to in person therapy

[Leesa]

I changed therapists a year and a half ago. I had only met with her once and we've been doing telehealth. She gave up the lease on her office and converted a room in her house to an office. I went there for the first time last week.
I didn't realize her boyfriend worked from home. He cannot hear us but I can hear him. I'm distracted and feel uncomfortable. I came home and shut down for two days. I have left the house only to go to work. I should be transitioning to work from home at the end if the month.
My home is by no means my 'dream home', but I don't want to leave. I don't want to see anyone or talk to anyone. There's no point in seeking help because I don't want anything except to hide

 

[may71]

I'm distracted and feel uncomfortable.

Sorry that this is happening. I think it would be ok to tell your therapist about how you feel if you'd like to.

There's no point in seeking help because I don't want anything except to hide

Hugs Leesa

 

[Leesa]

I just did. We're doing telehealth this week.

 

[may71]

I hope that's a good solution. Do you feel that way?

 

[MAC0]

Glad its seems you sorted it was going to say talk to her there job is to make you comfortable shame they cannot come to you really hope it goes well

 

[Leesa]

I hope that's a good solution. Do you feel that way?

We've been doing telehealth this whole time and she thinks I would get more out of it being in person. I would agree with that, but I'm uncomfortable. With Covid, her boyfriend also began working from home. I guess I didn't realize he stayed home just as she has. He talks loudly and I can hear his business calls. She has a backyard patio which is quiet, but there's always the potential for neighbors to overhear. I just don't even know what I want from therapy anymore.
When I was younger, I was wanted to go out but was not included. I'm not used to being around people, with the exception of coworkers, and it's a struggle to do that. I never really had a lot of positive social experiences so I'm pretty much resigned to being alone now, and I don't want to go anywhere.
Right now she wants to try in person every other week. We will discuss it Friday during our appointment.

 

[may71]

He talks loudly and I can hear his business calls. She has a backyard patio which is quiet, but there's always the potential for neighbors to overhear.

I think it's reasonable to want confidentiality and to have reasonable reassurances of it.

I could try to offer some noise control ideas if you'd like, but it's ok if you don't want that.

 

[Leesa]

I think it's reasonable to want confidentiality and to have reasonable reassurances of it.

I could try to offer some noise control ideas if you'd like, but it's ok if you don't want that.

She has a white noise machine but it does nothing for me. I'm extremely sensitive to noise. I live on a somewhat busy street and if a motorcycle drives down it while I'm sleeping, it will jolt me awake.
In my own home (townhouse), I share walls and it can be stressful. I despise the invention of surround sound.
I had been at her house once before, just so I would know how to get there. It was a Sunday evening and I could hear the TV, but I told myself no one would be home during appointments. I didn't realize he was working from home.
I had been to a previous therapist and when she switched offices, I pretty much had a breakdown. She rented it within a real estate office. The door was attached to the conference room so I could hear meetings and sales calls. I also had to walk through the conference room for the restroom. Her office was dark as well. I get anxiety in low light. When I walked out of there I left with thoughts I cannot post here. That is the day I joined this forum. I ended up having to stop seeing her due to the office set up. This was pre teleheath. It was actually for the best since I knew she didn't have a clue how to help.

 

[Leesa]

I went back back yesterday. It was much better, but I started shaking when I got there. I came home for lunch and was going to run an errand afterwards, but I just couldn't. Then last night I thought about suicide as I tried to fall asleep. Therapy is hard. You discuss these difficult things for an hour, then you're stuck with the thoughts and have no one to turn to until the next appointment. At least that is how it us for me. Next week will be telehealth. That's the deal we've come to for now. I did have the option to leave and then finish the session via telehealth when I got home. I stuck it out by focusing on the texture of a pillow.

 

[may71]

I'm sorry that therapy has been so difficult.

 

[Leesa]

I'm sorry that therapy has been so difficult.

I think it's just life is difficult, which makes therapy difficult.