Empathy and Advice Welcomed Bad anxiety that won't stop.

[UrbanRose]

I've been having severe anxiety for hours now. I'm prone to depression, but I find anxiety way harder to tolerate.

I got over bad depression maybe about 2 months ago. I thought I was doing pretty well. Then one thing after another went wrong. I don't get severe anxiety all that much. My main problem is episodes of depression. But when I get intense anxiety, I just want to die. Depression makes me not want to get out of bed. Severe anxiety makes me not want to live. It feels like I would do anything to escape this awful sense that something horrible is going to happen. I spend way too much time alone. So I'm alone with my thoughts and fears, and they've brought me to this miserable state of mind.

If this keeps up, I think I will go to the local public psych hospital. They do inpatient and outpatient care. It's not been a good place. I went there many years ago. I've avoided the place ever since. But it does provide comprehensive psych services. That's if they even take me seriously. So I'm really afraid to go there. The only reason I would go is because this anxiety feels excruciating. It seems like there's a monster chasing me. I don't even believe anyone will care, or that they'll be interested in treating me. Two weeks ago, I threw up blood from a bleeding ulcer. But that didn't last long. It comes and goes. Labs showed I didn't lose much blood, so it seemed to be simmering down.

My longtime companion died, and I have no family nearby. So it's just me and this anxiety tormenting me. I'm starting to feel very depressed again. Mainly, though, it's anxiety that has me frantic for a way to escape. I'm starting to think that I'm too defective to recover from this.

 

[may71]

I'm sorry you've been going through this.

If this keeps up, I think I will go to the local public psych hospital. They do inpatient and outpatient care. It's not been a good place. I went there many years ago. I've avoided the place ever since. But it does provide comprehensive psych services. That's if they even take me seriously. So I'm really afraid to go there.

While there are some drugs that treat anxiety, they're also addictive, so they're not really good to use except on a short-term basis. There may be some antidepressants that would help with anxiety though. It's not a bad idea to see a doctor about this, though I'm skeptical that they would be able to help much. Group therapy or cognitive behavioral therapy might be recommended to you.

These links have some info that might be helpful:

Chinese Herbal Medicine and Acupuncture, World's Second Largest Medical System

Self-Treatment and Miscellaneous

Meditation, acupressure self-massage, and dietary changes might be helpful.

I hope something can help.

Sending hugs

 

[may71]

These are some books about anxiety from the reading-well.org.uk book list:

Overcoming Anxiety, 2nd Edition: A self-help guide using cognitive behavioural techniques
Helen Kennerley

Overcoming Worry and Generalised Anxiety Disorder, 2nd Edition: A self-help guide using cognitive behavioural techniques
Mark Freeston, Kevin Meares

An Introduction to Coping with Anxiety, 2nd Edition
Brenda Hogan, Leonora Brosan

I haven't read any of these, but all the books on the reading-well list have been vetted by at least one healthcare professional. There may be other books that you'd like just as much or even better.

 

[UrbanRose]

I'm sorry you've been going through this.

While there are some drugs that treat anxiety, they're also addictive, so they're not really good to use except on a short-term basis. There may be some antidepressants that would help with anxiety though. It's not a bad idea to see a doctor about this, though I'm skeptical that they would be able to help much. Group therapy or cognitive behavioral therapy might be recommended to you.

These links have some info that might be helpful:

Chinese Herbal Medicine and Acupuncture, World's Second Largest Medical System

Self-Treatment and Miscellaneous

Meditation, acupressure self-massage, and dietary changes might be helpful.

I hope something can help.

Sending hugs

Thank you, May71, for taking the time and interest to check out my thread and suggesting some ideas about managing my mental state.


It's as bad this morning as last night. I feel like a torn up old rag being blown around by an evil wind. That's the anxiety. Depression is awful. I was staying out of that pit for the past few months. But anxiety, is even worse than depression. I don't get it very often, but when I get anxiety that snowballs, I start to wish I was never born.

I was on Librium for anxiety long ago. Tolerance builds up. Then it's not much good. I weaned off it to avoid withdrawal. It felt like no great loss to get off it. I am on an old antidepressant that has an anti-anxiety effect. It helps depression, but not really anxiety.

I am having odd memory problems, which I think might be from mental stress. The worst is the aloneness. After my longtime partner died five years ago, I went through a bad time. My sisters, who live far from me were supportive with phone calls. I figured that, if I didn't get a better grip on things, I would go spend a week with one of them, which would be a comfort. Being with others who I feel bonded to helps. But that bondedness has weakened. I feel like no one would particularly want me coming around. I keep breaking down, feeling like I lost what made life worthwhile.

 

[UrbanRose]

I know it's each person's responsibility to figure out for themself how to have a meaningful life. That means doing constructive things. I think how I'm feeling now is punishment for me not doing better. I tell myself that "Life is what you make of it." I feel in despair.

 

[sightseer]

I've been having severe anxiety for hours now. I'm prone to depression, but I find anxiety way harder to tolerate.

I got over bad depression maybe about 2 months ago. I thought I was doing pretty well. Then one thing after another went wrong. I don't get severe anxiety all that much. My main problem is episodes of depression. But when I get intense anxiety, I just want to die. Depression makes me not want to get out of bed. Severe anxiety makes me not want to live. It feels like I would do anything to escape this awful sense that something horrible is going to happen. I spend way too much time alone. So I'm alone with my thoughts and fears, and they've brought me to this miserable state of mind.

If this keeps up, I think I will go to the local public psych hospital. They do inpatient and outpatient care. It's not been a good place. I went there many years ago. I've avoided the place ever since. But it does provide comprehensive psych services. That's if they even take me seriously. So I'm really afraid to go there. The only reason I would go is because this anxiety feels excruciating. It seems like there's a monster chasing me. I don't even believe anyone will care, or that they'll be interested in treating me. Two weeks ago, I threw up blood from a bleeding ulcer. But that didn't last long. It comes and goes. Labs showed I didn't lose much blood, so it seemed to be simmering down.

My longtime companion died, and I have no family nearby. So it's just me and this anxiety tormenting me. I'm starting to feel very depressed again. Mainly, though, it's anxiety that has me frantic for a way to escape. I'm starting to think that I'm too defective to recover from this.

Hello UrbanRose, I have a feeling that anxiety happens when you've lived trough thing you shouldn't have. My thoughts are that you might have Anxiety Disorder which isn't a normal anxiety and it is considered a mental illness already, the causes seem to be the same. Medicine might help more if you don't have any methods to cope with this, and it seems to be very distressful to cope with this by yourself.

I've talked with few people about this and one told me that he didn't like the medicine that was given, as he knew how to meditate already he decided to live with this and do meditation instead - meditation seems to be as a strong as medicine. He seems to be doing fine just with this method, so he claims. Regular jogging also seems to help a lot with this, depression and anxiety. But you could go now to the emergency room at a hospital as it seems alarming enough for this to happen, if you find a way to cope with it and decide to abandon medication it can be done. After that, try to see which method works the best for you, you don't have to deal with this right now and it might take some time till you figure how to deal with it.

Wish yo the best!

 

[may71]

Thank you

You're welcome!

I feel like a torn up old rag being blown around by an evil wind

That sounds awful, I'm sorry it's like that.

I was on Librium for anxiety long ago

I've never even heard of Librium before.

I know it's each person's responsibility to figure out for themself how to have a meaningful life

The burden of managing one's life falls on one's self. That doesn't mean that someone is necessarily to blame for getting bad results. Luck and the actions of others are major factors. Like if your partner didn't die, things would probably be better for you. It's not like you're to blame for that.

In a better world, people would pull together more to help each other out. If society functioned more the way it should, things would be better for you I think.

I tell myself that "Life is what you make of it."

I don't see anything wrong or bad that you've done that is the cause for the problems you're having. Please be gentle with yourself.

Sending hugs

 

[UrbanRose]

Hello UrbanRose, I have a feeling that anxiety happens when you've lived trough thing you shouldn't have. My thoughts are that you might have Anxiety Disorder which isn't a normal anxiety and it is considered a mental illness already, the causes seem to be the same. Medicine might help more if you don't have any methods to cope with this, and it seems to be very distressful to cope with this by yourself.

I've talked with few people about this and one told me that he didn't like the medicine that was given, as he knew how to meditate already he decided to live with this and do meditation instead - meditation seems to be as a strong as medicine. He seems to be doing fine just with this method, so he claims. Regular jogging also seems to help a lot with this, depression and anxiety. But you could go now to the emergency room at a hospital as it seems alarming enough for this to happen, if you find a way to cope with it and decide to abandon medication it can be done. After that, try to see which method works the best for you, you don't have to deal with this right now and it might take some time till you figure how to deal with it.

Wish yo the best!

Thank you. I'm walking a good bit, since I became without a vehicle. Past few days have been bad with anxiety, but I had to run around for appointments. That forced me out of the house and got me walking. Once I got out, I improved a lot. I delayed coming home because I was afraid I would feel much worse once I got home. So I stopped to look around in some shops. Getting myself physically tired seems to calm down the anxiety. So I better think of somewhere to go today. That moving out and about seems to drain the energy from that monster chasing me.

 

[UrbanRose]

I think I might go to the community psych facility. I could ask to see a psychiatrist. I've gotten treatment in this facility in the distant past. I wanted to never go back there, but I'm feeling so bad, at times.

Librium is a benzodiazepine like Valium, or Xanax. They are straightforward tranquilizers. Doctors are slower to order them these days. After my significant other died, I went through some bad anxiety. I managed to get a psychiatrist to order me some Ativan, another benzo. That did help greatly, if I got into a real bad state of fretfulness. I was allowed a only a small quantity of the Ativan. Maybe I could get it again.

 

[UrbanRose]

Hello UrbanRose, I have a feeling that anxiety happens when you've lived trough thing you shouldn't have. My thoughts are that you might have Anxiety Disorder which isn't a normal anxiety and it is considered a mental illness already, the causes seem to be the same. Medicine might help more if you don't have any methods to cope with this, and it seems to be very distressful to cope with this by yourself.

I've talked with few people about this and one told me that he didn't like the medicine that was given, as he knew how to meditate already he decided to live with this and do meditation instead - meditation seems to be as a strong as medicine. He seems to be doing fine just with this method, so he claims. Regular jogging also seems to help a lot with this, depression and anxiety. But you could go now to the emergency room at a hospital as it seems alarming enough for this to happen, if you find a way to cope with it and decide to abandon medication it can be done. After that, try to see which method works the best for you, you don't have to deal with this right now and it might take some time till you figure how to deal with it.

Wish yo the best!

Spending time talking to other people helps. I spend way too much time alone. Last evening I spent some time on my patio, chatting with some neighbors. That makes me feel calmer. I have had anxiety issues over the years. When I got diagnosed with depression, the psychiatrist also diagnosed me with anxiety. I don't get it often, but, when I have severe anxiety, it is more frightening than depression.

Being alone with severe anxiety is awful demoralizing. Then I get to condemning myself for not being more competent at living. That self-talk is probably making things worse than they have to be.

 

[Windhover]

@UrbanRose it's hard to avoid the self-condemnation when anxiety hits you. I struggle with that too sometimes. Lately, I've improved a bit by making a commitment to myself about those negative words going on auto-pilot. I decided they're partly a bad habit which, gradually with work can be changed. Admittedly, it's not exactly a fun process, but better than giving in to as you say the monster.
I'm glad your walking is helping somewhat.
Sending good thoughts to you.

 

[sightseer]

Thank you. I'm walking a good bit, since I became without a vehicle. Past few days have been bad with anxiety, but I had to run around for appointments. That forced me out of the house and got me walking. Once I got out, I improved a lot. I delayed coming home because I was afraid I would feel much worse once I got home. So I stopped to look around in some shops. Getting myself physically tired seems to calm down the anxiety. So I better think of somewhere to go today. That moving out and about seems to drain the energy from that monster chasing me.

Nice I guess it makes sense, if it's working for you you have my support. Don't blame yourself if you can't somehow walk every day, just try to then. I'm sure you'll find your way, you seem to already be having some answers.

Spending time talking to other people helps. I spend way too much time alone. Last evening I spent some time on my patio, chatting with some neighbors. That makes me feel calmer. I have had anxiety issues over the years. When I got diagnosed with depression, the psychiatrist also diagnosed me with anxiety. I don't get it often, but, when I have severe anxiety, it is more frightening than depression.

Being alone with severe anxiety is awful demoralizing. Then I get to condemning myself for not being more competent at living. That self-talk is probably making things worse than they have to be.

Yes that seems to do a lot too. Nicely done, if you can go for it. I'm happy that you can do that. Keep us posted!

 

[UrbanRose]

@UrbanRose it's hard to avoid the self-condemnation when anxiety hits you. I struggle with that too sometimes. Lately, I've improved a bit by making a commitment to myself about those negative words going on auto-pilot. I decided they're partly a bad habit which, gradually with work can be changed. Admittedly, it's not exactly a fun process, but better than giving in to as you say the monster.
I'm glad your walking is helping somewhat.
Sending good thoughts to you.

Thanks, seabird. I'm learning that harshly criticizing myself is unproductive and can deepen demoralization. So I am switching to trying to encourage myself in the more kindly voice I would use, if I were advising someone else.

I know I'm neglecting my housework, letting dishes pile up in sink and not picking up after myself, making my environment more chaotic. But scolding myself isn't helping. I'm going to go try the 15 minute alarm technique, where I make myself work on a chore for a short spell, with the understanding that I only have to last till the alarm rings.

 

[UrbanRose]

Nice I guess it makes sense, if it's working for you you have my support. Don't blame yourself if you can't somehow walk every day, just try to then. I'm sure you'll find your way, you seem to already be having some answers.


Yes that seems to do a lot too. Nicely done, if you can go for it. I'm happy that you can do that. Keep us posted!

I walked to the post office and back earlier. It helped. Few crying spells, since coming home. I just have to stop catastrophizing my situation . . . which I tend to do.

 

[sightseer]

I walked to the post office and back earlier. It helped. Few crying spells, since coming home. I just have to stop catastrophizing my situation . . . which I tend to do.

I try to let go of it, the inner criticism, not pushing myself too hard. They might make sense but aren't actually real, like different point of views and possibilities of many events. The past is open for many interpretations and the future is made of expectations, so I try to let go of the past and don't think about the future. At the same time things aren't happening, in the moment, besides in our head... I might be simplifying this a lot. A kind and compassionate heart does see things more clearly and that would be the healthiest approach.

Be kind to yourself and do take your time

 

[iloverachel]

Hello my friend sorry you are suffering from anxiety and depression, I used to have both and its the worst combination honestly.

Some things that helped was meditating and listening to some relaxing music on youtube (example below)

Also, do you have any hobbies or activities you can enjoy that can take your mind off things? Could be drawing, singing, watching movies, gaming etc. I used to watch movies or play chess when I was anxious, I needed something else to occupy my mind.

Exercising is really important. I understand depression makes it impossible to want to work out, and anxiety will make gyms an impossible task, so maybe something easy like push ups or walking around your house for 10-20 minutes a day.

Also, what is your diet like? When I ate lots of junk food, my anxiety symptoms were horrible. A healthy diet can alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression (proven studies on this)

Finally, I took ashwaganda and magnesium glycinate to help my symptoms (should consult with a GP first). Medications and anti depressants and therapists are worth looking into.

good luck and please keep reaching out to us

 

[UrbanRose]

For distraction I've been walking. I pruned rose bushes yesterday and did some cooking.

It's near 8:30 a.m. and I've not slept one minute all night. This must pass.

 

[Windhover]

@UrbanRose Very sorry to hear you've not slept at all. If it's alright to suggest, try to avoid falling asleep in the day so that your body clock stays set to sleep when it's dark. Sending good thoughts to you.

 

[UrbanRose]

Yes, I'm still awake. So I should sleep well tonight.

The awful anxiety is not as bad as it was. It is still there. But I'm starting to fall asleep. I'm so afraid. I want to escape this worrying. Being alone has been hard.

 

[may71]

I hope you slept well.