i was bullied all throughout my school years and got beat at home until i started high school. in elementry school i was bullied for wearing glasses, my speech lisp, and being taller than the other kids. i was very shy so i never tried to fight back or tell teachers. i got my stuff stolen, wet toilet paper thown at me in the bathroom, stabed in my legs with pencils, and constantly insulted. this continued through middle school. but i worked up the courage to ask my mom for help. she ignored me several times and when she finally answered she wanted me to physically attack my bullies. course i never did, i try not to think violent thoughts and i'd never try to hurt someone else. so teachers never helped, my mom ignored me, and i had no friends. in middle school and high school the bullies got worse and would slam me into lockers, pelt me with dodgeballs, basketballs, and softballs durring gym class. sometimes just puch and kick me in the bathrooms. as for getting beat my mom would "punish" me and my elder sister if we did anything that she didn't like. normally we would kneel on freshly boiled rice, or plain rice if mom didn't feel like boiling it and then she would whip our backs and sides with a belt or switch. other times mom would make us hold heavy books or buckets of water while she would whip our arms. me and my sister each got a special punishment. my sister would have all her clothes books and the rest of her stuff thrown out a window, then she would have to carry all her stuff to the trash and get rid of it. but me i would get shower beatings. while i was wet i would get whipped with a studded belt or the metal buckle. eventually my mom stopped using the metal buckels after she messed up and hit my face and knocked me out. mom stopped beating me and my sister, she probably thought my sister would tell someone, but i never could. my moms a great liar so i doubt anyone woulda belived me and i'd rather not think of what she would've done to me if i told anyone. she's trying to help me pay for college now, not out of the kindness of her heart though. she has to try and keep up a good image with the rest of her family. i hate her, i've never loved her and i hope that one day all her lies fall apart and her world breaks down. i always try n' see the best in people but i just can't in her. that's not really saying much cause i really hate most other people and i don't like trusting others. i'm just scared that one day i'll be a bad person like her. that's why im always so kind and polite. i want to be my own person, given how my mom has controlled most of my life thats kinda hard.