Bad Thoughts . Some days I think I am ok.other days I think of all the crap and pain , and I just don't want to go on. I have overdosed , and cut , and ended up in the ER . I dont now why I can't succeed , each time I am found . Many years of dealing with paranoia and seeing things that they say are not real. No one understands . I feel so alone and like a freak to see and hear things . The bad thoughts seem to be my only way out.