Battling depression for almost two decades

[Briana]

These past couple of years have been incredibly difficult for me me. I got married, beat on, filed for divorce, moved to a new city(not my first time) got involved with a friend of over 20 years, tried to move again, got my heart broken again and now Ive locked myself in a room for the past week. <mod edit - methods>and I'm just ready to go. I've actually never felt more ready than I do now. This is my last attempt at trying to beat this thing called depression that I've suffered with since I was 11. In the Afro-American community, depression is something that is rarely spoke of so when you are dealing with it no one knows. I attempted suicide when I was 16 and was never really helped. My mom swept it under the rug and it was really never spoken of again.. How do I get past this??

 

[Unknown_111]

Welcome to the forum. Battling with depression is very hard and no doubt the past twenty years have been hard. Like you, I suffer depression but please reframe from doing anything. You should not isolate yourself at all as that just causes more unnecessary anguish. I plead from the bottom of my heart that you throw away the tablets by flushing them down a toilet. You are a survivor and that's shown by the way you have struggled the past twenty years. Yes, I can understand why depression is a taboo subject in the community you living. People often think that depression is a difficult subject to deal with and try to sweep it under the carpet. The only people who truly understand are the ones who suffer it everyday day. You have joined a very supportive community who can help you as much as we can. You have to keep posting here as it well you. If you open a thread of your own and post your daily thoughts, it will help you reading your own thoughts.

If you need more help, then PM me privately and I am willingly to listen and help you personally as I can. You are important and like I have said to many others, you are no longer alone. Be safe and please flush those tablets down the toilet. Take care.

 

[Petal]

I think in any community, except places that talk of depression like here it's kind of unspoken of and that makes it very difficult to seek help. I hope you can move on with your life and get the help you need. Suffering since you were eleven isn't easy. You most likely needed help when you were 16 but NOW is the time to step up and go ahead and get help for yourself. Together you can do this, you have joined an amazing community here. Best of luck to you ((hugs))

 

[RainThunder]

I was going to kill myself around 15 also, my mother never knew. She did know that I slept in bed for months and months though. This is now 20 something years later also... I think being alone is toxic... hopefully this community can help...

 

[DrownedFishOnFire]

Asking for help can open resources available for you. Can always call a crisis hotline and talk to someone if the urge is strong