Binge eating in response to horrible situations

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Kirovski22, Jun 8, 2013.

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  1. Kirovski22

    Kirovski22 Active Member

    Hey i'm Kittteh Kirovski and this is my binge eating story.

    I was always a little on the chubby side compared to my sister but still healthy and lively but then as I got older (8-10) I was abused by my 2 supposedly best friends and that's what started it because I didn't understand what was happening but tried to think it as just what best friends did. After that I began getting harassment as a teen and started to freak out and finding out about abuse at school made me realise what had happened when I was younger. My mind was starting to be in ruins so I decided to eat and eat and eat so people wouldn't find me attractive and stop harassing me (back when I was younger finding plus size people was quite unusual since I lived in a small village and knew only 2 plus size people who were my teachers) so it began. I ate to the point where I felt sick but I still continued but still the harassment happened and the sexual flirting so I ate more. My mum's ex boyfriend's son also wanted to have sex with me and sent dirty texts about what he wanted to do to me when we were alone, luckily we never we fully alone so it didn't happen. But still I ate, my mind constantly deteriorating until the point when, for my age/height I was just border morbidly obese.

    Luckily I have got over the binge eating and now have lost just over 2 stone and getting my life back on track. I had to grow stronger and be disciplined with myself. You can beat eating disorders but you have to want to stop and realise what you are actually doing to yourself. You don't want to get locked up in a ward for eating disorders e.g like anorexia or intentionally making yourself sick.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I am so glad you feel you have these things in the process of getting better. For some people, ED is a very complicated disorder. Seeking support is very important when the ED has captured a person's life...all the best to you
  3. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry those people abused you...that is not right. I'm glad that your doing it for yourself and you sound like you know what you want...

    you know this is one fear I have about losing weight, getting sexual I think that I sort of sabotage myself from losing weight because of it...

    like the past few days I've been down and eating candy, chocolate and drinking lots of I probably will gain it all back :(
  4. Kirovski22

    Kirovski22 Active Member

    Thanks for the kind words both of you.
    Morning Rush> I have the same fear and have questioned my weight loss and I actually felt happier being bigger because I felt more shielded and protected but that's a bit of a delusion in my case because I found I got just as much attention which is sad because I feel I can never win. I've had to grow really tough and had to be so horrible to people at times to protect myself and to get rid of the sexual attention. I think what would make us better is people admiring us for who we are, not in a sexual way but in a friendly supportive way. Wish the world worked like that for us. Good luck with anything you decide to do and I hope someday you can be happy without the fear xx
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