Body Dysmorphic Disorder/Acne Dysmorphic Disorder

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Dreamland, Oct 2, 2014.

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  1. Dreamland

    Dreamland Survivor

    Hey all.

    Wondering if anyone else out there is dealing with Body Dysmorphia or Acne Dysmorphia.

    Until I hit 21, I never had a single pimple. In fact, I'd say I had great skin all through high school and college. Unfortunately, hormones change over time and mine started to wreak havoc. I've been dealing with it for about 7 years now, and very recently I believe I've developed a complete dysmorphia over it. I overtreated and actually chemical burned my face, which caused severe pain daily for about 2-3 months, and now I'm obsessed every day with how bad I feel my skin has become--not just from the acne, but from the burn. Because of the anxiety and depression I've experienced in thinking I am hideous and I can't let anyone see me, I haven't seen any of my family and friends for over 5 months, I've been on disability from work for 2 months, and I made my first ever actual suicide attempt (which led to involuntary detainment in a mental facility). As you probably realize by now, it's gotten bad.

    I've been on Celexa and just recently added Wellbutrin per my doctor's recommendation, and that has helped somewhat. I have also been on spironolactone for my acne for about 3 months now, and it seems that in conjunction with a clindamycin lotion has started to finally do something for the acne. Of course, none of that is helping me stop obsessing, picking, overusing/avoiding mirrors, etc. The mental part is still there, and I'm afraid that even once my face clears up completely, I'll still feel hideous.

    This has already stolen my life, my ability to focus, my ability to work, to drive, my social life... I've been seeing a free therapist through work for general depression/anxiety, but I don't think I can afford to go regularly to someone for the dysmorphia.

    Is there anyone else out there who can identify with this? I just want to find a support system of people who know what I'm going through, and maybe we can bolster each other to being okay with our appearances.
  2. CNikki

    CNikki Member

    I can't say I completely relate to your situation, but a reason I stay in my home and not go out is due to the appearance as well. I've noticed that I gained weight, which never happened in my life and I went through a mini-grieving phase over it. Not only that, but just the way I look and focusing on how 'I should look' or if anyone may display similar imperfections as me can still be happy. It's weird, to say the least. I hate the obsession over them.

    I'll stick around and hopefully we can get some answers. :/
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