my entire reddit feed invalidates my typedentity
"you cant tell someone you are suicidal unless you like them well enough"
everyone knows i am suicidal.
therefore i like everyone.
therefore i am an extraverted enneagram two 😭😭😭
i put somrthing dodgy in a post eithout a trigger warning. this means i act sithout thibking
every time i hear of gen z stare i want to cry. i wsnt to be that way so badly. i want to look vacant, unresponsive, dissociated, so badly. being overly responsive to my surroundings isnt just embarrassing it gives me DYSPHORIA OVER HOW MY BRAIN WORKS.
i feel so disgusting at bmi 19, i miss being underweight.
i must be unflappable, apathetic, has an "it is what it is" mentality
i must spend more time using physical mediz thzn doomscrolling
i must use langauge in a "detached" way
i must be more emotionally inexpressive. oversharing gives me brain dysphoria.
saying irrational, emotionally uncontrolled things without thinking gives me brain dysphoria.
taking pleasure in shopping gives me brain dysphoria.
i hate the way my voice sounds
baggy clothes and fluffy hair gives me great gender euphoria.
i feel like my entire identity and dignity has been stoldn away from me for years. and im so fucking traumatised by it.
its my own term, so you wouldnt find anything about it on the internet.
idk if its merely internalised shame from trauma or what but its like feeling distressed at your own cognition (and hence behavioural patterns, personality, trauma responses, etc) in the same way transgender ppl feel gender dysphoria. its like feeling you have the wrong brain, not necessarily the wrong body as well. its like the kind of traits you have the kind of person you are contrsdicts what you bass ur sense of identity on or what you want to be if that makes sense. and you may get hurt or jealous or upset if someone else has the traits, vibes, etc you wanted in urself when you dont.
i suffer from that to the extreme, for such a long time.
"you cant tell someone you are suicidal unless you like them well enough"
everyone knows i am suicidal.
therefore i like everyone.
therefore i am an extraverted enneagram two 😭😭😭
i put somrthing dodgy in a post eithout a trigger warning. this means i act sithout thibking
every time i hear of gen z stare i want to cry. i wsnt to be that way so badly. i want to look vacant, unresponsive, dissociated, so badly. being overly responsive to my surroundings isnt just embarrassing it gives me DYSPHORIA OVER HOW MY BRAIN WORKS.
i feel so disgusting at bmi 19, i miss being underweight.
i must be unflappable, apathetic, has an "it is what it is" mentality
i must spend more time using physical mediz thzn doomscrolling
i must use langauge in a "detached" way
i must be more emotionally inexpressive. oversharing gives me brain dysphoria.
saying irrational, emotionally uncontrolled things without thinking gives me brain dysphoria.
taking pleasure in shopping gives me brain dysphoria.
i hate the way my voice sounds
baggy clothes and fluffy hair gives me great gender euphoria.
i feel like my entire identity and dignity has been stoldn away from me for years. and im so fucking traumatised by it.
its my own term, so you wouldnt find anything about it on the internet.
idk if its merely internalised shame from trauma or what but its like feeling distressed at your own cognition (and hence behavioural patterns, personality, trauma responses, etc) in the same way transgender ppl feel gender dysphoria. its like feeling you have the wrong brain, not necessarily the wrong body as well. its like the kind of traits you have the kind of person you are contrsdicts what you bass ur sense of identity on or what you want to be if that makes sense. and you may get hurt or jealous or upset if someone else has the traits, vibes, etc you wanted in urself when you dont.
i suffer from that to the extreme, for such a long time.