"Bullying is a normal part of life"

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Kaos General

Well-Known Member
#21
I get this a lot. People always ask me why I'm so quiet. I really hate getting this question and here's why. If I haven't answered their question yet(either because they haven't asked me yet, or because I simply responded with "It's just the way I am"), the person assumes I'm some stuck up, unfriendly, and mean person who doesn't want anything to do with them. If I give them the short answer - "I'm just a shy person", I have to listen to them go on about how I need to open up more, join conversations, smile, wave, blah, blah, blah. However, some people go as far as asking me to elaborate and explain why I am the way I am; why I never talk to anyone. And I absolutely hate it.

The reason I hate it so much is because I'll go on to tell them the hell I went through as a child. The same old story of how I was picked on, excluded, laughed at, humiliated, and beat up so much growing up. All this time I'm sitting there telling them what happened to me, I know exactly what is running through their ("realist") mind, and every time I turn out to be correct.

They go on to tell me it's a normal part of life, everybody gets bullied. Although they might be correct that everybody gets bullied, I don't believe it's a normal part of life. When they say they were bullied, they might have been "bullied" by definition, but as I've said before, some people have it a lot worse than others. You have the wide range of people(which is most people), who by definition are "bullied", but then you have the people like me where these incidences of bullying aren't just your typical childhood quarrels.

This is the type of bullying that I try to explain to them. I try to explain that just because you was bullied(which by the way, is most likely in the wide range that I mentioned), and I was bullied, doesn't mean the damaging effects were the same. Okay, you had a spat with a friend, her and perhaps her friends "bullied" you for a while, but eventually you either parted ways or resolved your differences and became friends again. The damage from those type of incidences came and went. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about everlasting damaging effects, effects which changes the way that person thinks about people in general.

In fact, some people not only believe that bullying is a normal part of life, but it is actually beneficial because "it helps them prepare for the harsh times of adulthood". I believe they couldn't be more wrong. In fact, they are way wrong. Bullying hasn't prepared me one bit for anything. If anything, it has made my life worse, a living hell in fact, pretty much to the point that I can't wait for my life to be over. If instead of being picked on and rejected, and if I was included in on things and people wanted to be my friend, my entire life would be different right now. I would be more confident.

I think about all things that could be different. I would have went on to college and gotten a degree, I would have a better paying job, and I would be able to interact better with people. Anytime I'm with a group of people, even a group of family members, I'm really quiet. They think I'm bored or I'm not having a good time. I'm often seen as a "party pooper". But here's the thing, if I am in a group of people and I actually do happen to say something, a lot of times I create some sort of awkwardness in the group. They get this look on their face like they're wondering why I said what I said or that what I said was irrelevant to the conversation. This is why I'm always awkward around people, whether it be social or just in general.

None of this has left me since graduating from high school, even the bullying. I remember when I was a kid, I couldn't wait until I graduated and got into adulthood because I thought all the elementary stuff would have been left behind. I thought people would have grown up. But that's not the way it went. Bullying has followed me into adulthood. I could go to work, just mind my own business and not attack anyone, but for some reason someone wants to prove how tough they are, or how cool they are. They hone in on my annoyances and they will repeatedly do it.

Something that makes me more upset is the fact that I will watch another person come into work every single day, each and every week, and not one person will bully them. It feels like I'm always carrying around a big sign that says "Bully Me", no matter where I go, no matter which job I get. People can't just leave me alone.

Now getting back to the people that believe bullying is a normal part of life. A lot of the people that say this are also the same people that say to me "You're a big baby, grow up" and "Get over yourself" after I explain to them why I am the way I am.

THIS is where they contradict themselves. The reason they contradict themselves is because they have just told me that bullying is what prepares me for the harsh times of adulthood, but then they turn around wondering why I am the way I am, so they ask me, and after I explain to them what I have been through, they make the statements I mentioned, which doesn't make sense.

So many people join in on the bullying and humiliation of others, which can literally ruin a person's life, in yet, they don't condone other wrong doings such as murder, adultery, theft, vandalism, rape, and molestation, ALL THE WHILE claiming that they are a person who has a conscience.

Bullying makes people feel like shit. Getting bullied at work is very stressful. The bully doesn't care if you lose your job, so in essence they don't care if you can't pay your bills, therefore they don't care if you end up out in the street, therefore they don't care if you eat, therefore they don't care if you die. I know it's hard to swallow. I mean, do they really not care if you die? Well, if you think about it the way I described, then no, they don't. So they have no problem in making your life a living hell to the point where you don't want to live, in yet they also claim not to condone murder, and they also claim to have a conscience and they're not some programmed robot.

And to them, if most people do it then that makes it okay. They say they know what's right and wrong, but if there's millions of people that believe such and such is the norm, they're just gonna take the easy way out and join in. This, in a way, contradicts themselves again, because they say they know all about life and "how the world works" and that they are tough. So they're tough, but they're not tough enough to stand up and do what's right because so many people other people are doing what's wrong. Don't tell me you're tough, if you're gonna take the easy way out like that.

This is why being nice has become the hard, and being mean has become the easy - because so many people are doing it. And because generation after generation people believe this way, it perpetuates. I believe that if something's wrong, it's wrong. Bullying is wrong. Bullying is evil. It literally can ruin a person's life, just as it has ruined my life and many others.

This world doesn't care if I die because it wants to uphold what it perceives as the norm and what it believes prepares people for harsh times, when all it does is actually create harsh times. I hate this God damn world. You BULLIES out there are not tough! You have to do what other people are doing! If you were really tough, you wouldn't care what other people are doing, no matter how many people there are, and do the right thing! Stop being mean!
Hmmmmmm ok so are you still getting bullied or are you just stuck in the past? This post just i dont know, sort of makes me laugh but generally makes me angry. This is why, your playing the blame game. Oh i was bullied, everything shit thats happened in my life it was all down to the fact i was bullied. Oh im quiet because i was bullied. Oh poor me.

Wanna know why it makes me angry? I got beaten up, abused in every way shape or form every single day for 10 years to the point i took as many drugs as i could to block it out, i got hooked on heroin, crack and various other substances and i blamed everyone. Thing is it was no-ones fault but my own. I was a victim and i was happy with that role because it was easier to sit their and blame everyone. It wasnt until i decided fuck everyone that i became stronger. So please, if youve been bullied move on, you think that they are gonna sit their and think about you? Of course not. Sure its harsh and cruel but until you do something about it it will continue
 
#22
hello wanted to say i dont agree with turning urself into a monster thing, probably because no matter what peopel will put me thro and how much I feel they deserve a monster back id feel overall failed at life turning into one, and like i took a step back on the evolution scale. Id have no hope for a decent life and id would mean just passing the abuse around in a place where i can expect more back.

It only solves your immediate needs not your lack of fulfillment unless u where one to begin with. If you accept life is not worth anything, yours or others you are degrading yourself and its not true, its worth as much as u make it worth and yes people r very blamable for their decisions on it.

I would not want to be around people that mental that they r not blamable. Feels like they r not people as they r seriously failing on a level of it.

Terri really does sound unusually immature but am wondering what kinda upbringing he had. A lot of times kids take the blame for growing up in seriously mental houses. Yeah hes not k but can u juge how he got there?
Realized this after adding up all the most socially isolated kids i saw. They all had parents the "lost it " quite early in life but not in a aggressive way just became alienated and that really messes with ur mind as a kid. Also this type of parents tend to be emotionally controlling not wanting their kid to slip away and turn against them like the rest of the world.

When u have someone that hits you and tells u ur a peace of shit u can orientate easily but when someone is lovingly messing with ur mind and you r a small kid depending on that someone go figure.

I only recently realized how mental my parents r and how their fear of facing reality has affected my attitudes and behaviors for the worst. Ive been lied and lied and lied and caused of things they are, every thing ive wanted to do normal was fundamentally wrong in their eyes and i was all alone. When i stooped listening to them the lied and got me back in the same spot as i was dependant of them at the time and did not know whats worst.Worst of all they lied to themselves and got all the family in a mess i still dont know how to escape. Also got ill while under their pretty vigorous "care and attention". Please do not compare what is like growing up alone to growing up depending on mental people and what that life is like.
So while i know am the only person that can solve this if there is going to be one, I also know id never do this to anyone and yes i blame them a hell of a lot.

I basically grew up alone and feeling like i have no place in the human species since what i got form people closest to me seams very degenerated. While it may seam sheltered its hell.
 
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Illusion

Well-Known Member
#23
I'm glad this topic was made. You sound a lot like me by the way. People constantly ask me why I'm so quiet. Gets on my nerves. Whenever I tell them "I don't know.. I'm shy" or "I never have anything to talk about to anyone here", they question me a lot and start making me feel like I'm mentally challenged or something for being quiet. Eventually I say something smart and the person all of a sudden thinks I'm a stuck up narcissistic. I'll be honest, I do tend to come off as a narcissistic when it comes to speaking my mind and outlook on things. Most my ex friends say I was "full of myself" when it came to sharing my opinions. A reason why I often try to avoid serious conversations with intelligent people cause I don't want my ego ruined by their intelligence. All of that is only cause I'm insecure though. I love when I feel on top. Thats a good chance why most people bully actually is cause of insecurity. Sure they may seem perfect on the outside, but on the inside they're feeling bad or 'not good enough' about something. Whenever they make others feel bad, it raises their ego. Just like it raises my ego whenever I'm correct. One slip up on their reputation and they'll feel just as rotten as the person they're hurting. Bullying sucks and shouldn't even be considered normal. Common it is, but not acceptable.

My mother and even counselors told me that people are gonna be mean and thats just preparing you for life. They made it sound like you shouldn't get upset at all by bullying. Hmmm.. have they seen the news? Its nothing but hate, misery, and drama in the world. Most of it is usually linked to acts of bullying. I honestly feel like humanity is one big fuck up most days cause people say that bullying is fine and that its part of life. Stuff from years ago still haunts me to this day and I doubt I'll ever forget any of it. I sound like I'm an adult don't I? Well nope. This is all coming from a 15 year old who's been bullied since 6 years old. It was always the same bullshit. Besides being underweight at 6 & 7, I was bullied mainly for being "fat, ugly, shy, quiet, tall," and not being able to concentrate as well on my work like the other kids. I even had people pretend to be my friends but would trip me, trick me into eating stuff that made me sick and push me into brick walls. People would even pay guys to come up and tell me I was pretty or ask me out. Most times the money wasn't worth it by what I would hear.

Shit like that fucked me up real bad and it does to others to. I hear about bully victims a lot snapping and turning mean as a rattlesnake. Some people that have known me for years say thats whats happened to me. I've gotten a bit mean and quick tempered. Somebody tries to start stuff with me I snap right then and end up scaring the shit out of whoever triggered me. Enough of my rambling though.. point is. BULLYING SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED A NORMAL PART OF LIFE. ITS WHATS WRONG WITH THIS STUPID WORLD. Some handle it worser than others. Overall its terrible.
 

nolonger

Well-Known Member
#24
People would even pay guys to come up and tell me I was pretty or ask me out.
Personally, I find this the most depressing thing someone could ever do to me(although it hasn't happened). It's like mocking someone in the worst way....buy paying someone to say they're good looking/pretty or asking you out. Like you're so fugly that they need to take money to say something to you...that would really fuck with my mind. Really badly...I can barely handle looking shit but when someone mentions something about my looks things go sour.

I honestly feel like humanity is one big fuck up most days cause people say that bullying is fine and that its part of life.
The world's a fucked up place. And we will be the ones that have to fix it :dry:, once our parents are old and dieing of some rapidly advancing unknown neurological disorder.

Sometimes I wish I was at a larger school...my current school is only like 300 kids(year 8-12). So if I went to one that had like 1500 kids I might've had a better chance at having friends(or something I could remotely consider a friend). Maybe there would have been more people like me in a bigger school? When you're in a smaller population, everything is concentrated. But if you're in a larger population, there's more of everything.
 

Illusion

Well-Known Member
#25
Sometimes I wish I was at a larger school...my current school is only like 300 kids(year 8-12). So if I went to one that had like 1500 kids I might've had a better chance at having friends(or something I could remotely consider a friend). Maybe there would have been more people like me in a bigger school? When you're in a smaller population, everything is concentrated. But if you're in a larger population, there's more of everything.
I've been to a school that only had 300 something kids before. I hated it. Everyone had to know everything about everyone so people were constantly bothering me. Plus it was populated by rednecks mainly and the rednecks around here really like to know every little thing about everybody. They'll be your buddy if they like you, give you hell if they hate you. But anyways.. I'm not at a school with 1500 kids I think. Nobody seems to gives a rats ass about anybody they hate. Now just because its a larger population that doesn't mean you'll have more friends. I only have 3 out of that many kids. The bullying isn't as bad as it is in smaller populations though. For my area at least. Might be different for others. I heard of a school around here that has 1000 something kids to and everyone there has a mean reputation. Just depends on th school, though I do believe population plays a role to. You're not as singled out in a bigger population as you are a smaller one.
 

Socialman

Well-Known Member
#26
All people get bullied at one time or another, but some people are bullied constantly. They are singled out for being different. Some people are singled out because they are shy. Some are singled out because they wear glasses. Some people are singled out because their parents teach them differently, so they don't take part in popular sports, music, or games. My dad taught me to dislike certain sports because the injuries from it are hampering to mental health. I also couldn't play ring around the rosy because the words were about death. Rock and rap were a no no. So, if you are different... then you are doomed to be singled out.
 
#27
thats some education you got Darksider lol
Reminds me of getting bullyed for not wanting to join my friends on the skateing rink because according to my parents it was not safe the ice was thin and a relative almost died ........300 people on it but for me it was different
 
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