Can a psychotherapist/counsellor really help? Do they really care?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by rocknrollsuicide, Sep 21, 2014.

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  1. rocknrollsuicide

    rocknrollsuicide Well-Known Member

    Following a build up of stress, anxiety and depression for years, after suffering the consequences of redundancy, 6 months ago I had my first counselling session with a therapist.

    He was gentle and kind, good listener but did not give anything, no challenge.
    He would repeat "and how does that make you feel?" which seemed like a typical piss-take phrase of those who mock the profession.
    Kind but not challenging, gentle but not stimulating my thoughts enough to make me wish to go back.

    Then I saw a psychotherapist, a woman who I have been seeing for the last four months.
    During my first session with her I did burst into tears, it was so bloody embarrassing crying in front of an absolute stranger.
    However, I could see that she got me right way, she understood certain things about me without me even saying them during out first session.
    Although I did not feel completely comfortable with her, I decided to get counselling from her.

    Now, following very recent unlucky, life-altering events I can no longer afford her, thus I temporarily suspended the sessions.
    Which is ironic because right now I need it so badly, more so than ever before.

    My question is: does counselling really help? Does it change you? Do counsellors/psychotherapist really give a shit?
    How do you know if your counsellor/therapist is a good one?

    At times I had doubt about the therapist lady I saw for 4 months. I felt judged, which is not what someone with trust issues like me wants nor needs.
    I remember on the very last session I had with her, in the context of my trust issues topic and people, she used a word to describe my behavior which isn't exactly flattering: formidable. Also using a cat analogy, when cats are scared, they arch up and hiss at you to scare you away.
    I mean, was this a good therapist?
    When I communicated with her my recent job loss, she suggested for me EMDR therapy as an additional one I would possibly benefit from.
    I had to spell it out for her that I was about to loose my job hence could not afford any type of therapy.

    How do you know when a therapist has your best interest at heart?

    A month ago I got very pissed at her because she disrupted (however briefly) my session to pick up a delivery downstairs.
    I read on a number of reviews from different sites that what she did on that occasion was a clear sign of a bad therapist.

    I am confused. If they are supposed to be mental health professionals with the purpose to help others, then why is it I find the whole psychotherapy/counselling deal an utter BS? Some of them fees are an absolute joke.

    Anyone has an insight on good and bad counsellors/therapists to shed a light on please?
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I had a psychotherapist for 6 months and then had to change, he agreed that he had been less than successful with me.
    My second therapist was marvellous, even if (as he should) he sometimes made me very angry.
    I had him for 4 years and was able to resolve so many issues.

    So I would say yes, they can be very helpful when you get the right one for you.
  3. random33

    random33 Well-Known Member

    Like in every profession there a good and bad psychotherapists/counsellors, it may not be easy to find the right one, find a therapist that you feel confortable with, that you can open up to, sometimes it's hard to be completly honest with someone else, we may find ourselfs hidding or sugarcoating our true feelings, sometimes we are not even honest with ourselfs :) If you have difficulty talking, write and give the letter to your therapist.

    Short answer yes, they can help a lot, it may take a bit of searching, but once you find the right one they will help.
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