Can my brain shut up for just a day please?

[kikin]

All my thoughts are taking over, I'm so paranoid everyday. I don't even want to do this anymore, the constant state of sadness, paranoia, and worry that I'm in ruins me. I trust things too easily but I'm so fucking paranoid
I don't trust people, the internet, my phone, etc. I'm so FUCKING DONE. What medication makes me stop thinking? I'm always so scared to be online, 'cause "what if I get ddosed, doxxed, or WORSE!?"
I don't want to feel like this anymore, I have nothing. I just want to be a fading memory for everyone, have no one remember me, know I exist/existed. I can't look in the mirror or at my parents without being reminded of how much of a failure I am as a human, and child

 

[Windhover]

Sorry you're at this level of paranoid kind of a state @kikin. Do you get breaks from it, I mean are there some activities or work which seem to help?
I hope you stay around, we're here to support each other.
I hope you can shift away from the labeling of your self as a failure.

 

[may71]

What medication makes me stop thinking?

Deep slow breathing through your nose can be a medication for thinking too much. I could say more about meditation if you're interested.

I can't look in the mirror or at my parents without being reminded of how much of a failure I am as a human, and child

You have inherent worth as a human being. It sounds like you're being really harsh on yourself.