So cancer has decided to revisit me..this time skin cancer..I was fearful of having biopsies as I know once air hits cancer it spreads like wildfire..and that has happened with me..one of my biopsied tumors has grown 3 times the size since my biopsy 3 weeks ago..and now the wait for surgery as it continues to grow everyday..I worry that I will lose my eye as the tumor is just below it..I am scared that it isn’t isolated..and it will spread throughout my body in a short period..I am scared that I won’t be able to work or live on my own anymore..I am worried about the cost of all this as I have no insurance..a friend asked me …why now you have a terminal disease do you want to live again”..It isn’t that I want to live again..I just don’t want to die a long drawn out painful death..There is a difference..So I am terrified that this will be my plight..I asked for death so many times..but I didn’t define it not to be a long painful one. I have never felt so defeated by my own body…and I am drowning in fear.
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Cancer Stress
- Thread starter Mylife
- Start date
I am sorry to hear that it's come up again. I'm curious why the doctor/clinic/hospital can't fast track you for surgery...have they given you any kind of time frame/scheduled you yet?
I understand the fear, I was just given a diagnosis recently and there's no cure and have similar questions and observations but the biggest one is also regarding drawn out and painful dying process which with this diagnosis it always is.
I will keep you in my thoughts
I understand the fear, I was just given a diagnosis recently and there's no cure and have similar questions and observations but the biggest one is also regarding drawn out and painful dying process which with this diagnosis it always is.
I will keep you in my thoughts
I am sorry to hear that it's come up again. I'm curious why the doctor/clinic/hospital can't fast track you for surgery...have they given you any kind of time frame/scheduled you yet?
I understand the fear, I was just given a diagnosis recently and there's no cure and have similar questions and observations but the biggest one is also regarding drawn out and painful dying process which with this diagnosis it always is.
I will keep you in my thoughts
I understand the fear, I was just given a diagnosis recently and there's no cure and have similar questions and observations but the biggest one is also regarding drawn out and painful dying process which with this diagnosis it always is.
I will keep you in my thoughts
I have a surgery date of Nov 1st but as it has grown exponentially in just a few weeks they have put me on a “cancellation” list. So if someone cancels their appt they will get me in right away. So I sit and wait trying my hardest to thwart the immense fear but with one being below my eye I have to see it all the time. It is a bit of a mind fuck..sorry for that word..but it protrudes so when my eyes are open it blocks part of my vision..so literally in my face all the time 
. If you want to talk about what you are going through I am here for you. If you prefer to email or pm me that is ok too. It might help since we are both in this boat..Know you are loved, you are cared about and worthy of answers and ideas. Much love and much thanks for your post. I will keep you in my thoughts and meditations <3
- I hope you can have the surgery soon. Please keep us updated if you want to.
Hi my life,
It’s Courtney from chat, I am really truly sorry to hear that cancer has come back. You are such a caring brave soul, you have a heart of gold. I know how scary and upsetting this is, we are here for you! I’m thinking of you, and sending positive vibes and prayers! I hope you can have the surgery, hugs from Courtney
Courtney xx
It’s Courtney from chat, I am really truly sorry to hear that cancer has come back. You are such a caring brave soul, you have a heart of gold. I know how scary and upsetting this is, we are here for you! I’m thinking of you, and sending positive vibes and prayers! I hope you can have the surgery, hugs from Courtney
Courtney xx
Hi my life,
It’s Courtney from chat, I am really truly sorry to hear that cancer has come back. You are such a caring brave soul, you have a heart of gold. I know how scary and upsetting this is, we are here for you! I’m thinking of you, and sending positive vibes and prayers! I hope you can have the surgery, hugs from Courtney
Courtney xx
It’s Courtney from chat, I am really truly sorry to hear that cancer has come back. You are such a caring brave soul, you have a heart of gold. I know how scary and upsetting this is, we are here for you! I’m thinking of you, and sending positive vibes and prayers! I hope you can have the surgery, hugs from Courtney
Courtney xx