Cannot find motivation to lose weight

Discussion in 'Appearance and Body Image (New Forum)' started by Petal, Oct 3, 2016.

  1. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I can not stick to a healthy diet. I'm 21.11 stone (300lbs) roughly. I feel horrible about my weight. I saw my doctor today and she commented on my weight gain, that really kicked my confidence. I know how to lose weight I just cannot stick to it because I get bored of it and after I lose 10lbs etc.. I go back to my unhealthy way. I need some real advice on how others have done this, or if you haven't maybe you have some ideas on how I can do this? Please help. I need motivation.
    flowers likes this.
  2. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    Hi Petal, here is my story and what I did.

    I am 5'3". I weighed 217 pounds at my highest. This was all due to meds that effed up my metabolism and my sudden but constant sedentary life, again, due to meds that zombied me out. My normal weight range is anywhere from 115 to 125, so I had 100 pounds to lose. I did (and since gained back 25, but that's fine). Here is how I did it:

    1. First, it took me 3 years, I knew it would take a long time and I committed for the long haul.

    2. Nevers: I never told one single person about my weight loss goals and journey (except anonymous people at forums). I kept it to myself. I didn't want the added anxiety of having to admit defeat when all I was experiencing was a temporary setback. I was only accountable to ME...and I never weighed myself more than once a month because my metabolism was so messed up, one week I'd lose, then I'd gain, then I'd lose, then least once a month I'd see a loss, even if it was ONE pound.

    3. I had a goal. Now, I've been called shallow, but it worked so screw the nay-sayers. My goal was a relationship. I refused to start dating until I lost 100 pounds. I was lonely so I kept that goal in mind. During the time I lost the weight, I was able to work on myself, my interests, my looks, my finances, my was a good time to heal myself totally. I wanted to be a real catch when I was ready to date.

    4. This is not for everyone: I weened off ALL meds. Hated them. It took 10 months, but my clarity and motivation returned. (btw, was diagnosed with BPD, Depression, Anxiety and PTSD and I manage without meds, just natural methods).

    5. Even though it HURT LIKE HELL, I did cardio EVERY DAY - NO days off. I started off slowly, but within a month, I was up to TWO hours a day, yes. The reasoning behind this was the 10,000 steps a day theory (if you don't know it, maybe look it up, in short, walking 10k steps a day should keep a person (who is already fit) in good health). I bought a pedometer, with my sedentary pathetic lifestyle, I was ONLY walking 500 steps a day, yeesh! And I was already obese! I bought one of those mini-trampolines and just walked/jogged, bounced to music or while watching tv for that time each day. It took me 2 hours to reach 10k steps. Anything above that (walking the dogs, puttering around the house, going grocery shopping...was a bonus).

    6. I stretched for half an hour after every workout to prevent injury.

    7. After I lost about 30 pounds, I incorporated weights. Nothing Arnold-like. I bought a mat, and 1, 2, 3 and 5 pound dumbbells, and 3 pound ankle weights. I went to my absolute favourite website for weight training called EXRX. I spent hours a day doing research and watching their gifs on how to do the exercises properly. They show you how to do every exercise whether you are in a gym, are an Olympian or just an at-home gal like me using dumbbells. Weight training was every other day, not 3 times a week, just every other day, NO days off.

    Exercise was first because my metabolism was ill. Diet alone doesn't help a person like me because if your metabolism is wonky, you just won't lose weight with diet alone.

    8. I went vegan. Now, this coincided because I was diagnosed with IBS and the wait to see a specialist was 2 years. Screw that. I cured myself with an elimination diet and getting off animal products for a whole year. It also helped me feel better, helping my overall motivation. During that time I learned to cook with new ingredients, realized that I disliked certain foods, and also realized that some of the foods I used to eat didn't digest well and I completely eliminated them. Btw, NO cheat days. I don't believe in them, it sets you up for failure. If I wanted pizza, I had pizza, but it had to fit into my calorie limit.

    9. I drank only water, wine and coffee. I will never give up wine and coffee, so don't ask. BUT...I calculated how many calories I needed as an active women who weighed 120 pounds, lots of calculators online...and I found how many I needed, added my wine and sugared coffee, then figured out how much food I could eat. Okay, not the healthiest and I know alcohol slows metabolism even further, but I wasn't interested in sacrificing everything, so it took me longer to lose, but at least I didn't feel like I was miserably missing out during the process.

    10. I joined weight loss forums, lots of them, and kept myself motivated by chatting on forums, reading articles and learning new recipes.

    Notes: I suffered injuries, lack of motivation, setbacks as well. I let myself have my little moments, then kept going.

    Ice is your friend - ice sore muscles immediately so they recover.
    Physical pain is normal, I got used to it.
    Ask your doctor not to comment on your weight because it's making you lose your confidence.
    Buy VERY supportive running shoes to help your shins, ankles and knees.

    I hope this helps. In 2013 I weighed 118 pounds. Since being in my relationship, I stopped the daily 2 hour cardio, but I work out by walking and I still do weights 3x a week and maintain my weight at around 140. I'm fine with that. I think a lot of people think that once they hit their goal, they can go back to old habits, but the whole journey of losing weight is to learn new ways of eating, new delicious recipes, and new habits of keeping active. Also during the process, you can heal other areas of your life and learn what makes you comfortable, and how you want your body to feel and look like.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    wow oh my goodness, may I say I have been inspired by reading your post! Wow, you really are one that does not give up. Those are some very handy motivational tools. I will tell my doctor to stop commenting on my weight AND I will try doing cardio(walking) for 1 hour a day to start with and take your advice on having zero cheat days. I will take your suggestion and use ice on sore muscles.

    I would absolutely love if you shared some of your recipes with me, I would love to see them. May I ask what your calorie intake was? I'd imagine around 1500kcal? My metabolism is screwed from medication, completely screwed.

    The comment from my doctor really, I won't go as far as saying it upset me but I was surprised and felt worthless, fat and ugly. I really have to lose the weight this time. If I get any bigger I am putting myself at risk of a heart attack if not already.

    Strange quirk about me I should tell you, I cannot lift weights as they remind me of things that happened to me when I was younger, they trigger flashbacks.

    Well done you for losing all that weight, you are an inspiration. Well done you :)

    Going to set the alarm on my phone to wake me up for exercise in the morning.
    flowers and Frances M like this.
  4. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    Aw, you're welcome! My goal was important because I really wanted a man in my life (hint hint lol) sex drive was a big factor in my motivation!! ;)

    It's been a long time Petal, I don't remember all the recipes and now I cook a little more fatty (thus the 25 pound gain!). I used a website called Fitday to count my calories. Everything was homemade btw, I gave up processed stuff completely except white sugar, we all have a weakness! But I mainly stuck to high fruit/fiber for breakfast, a fruit/yogurt (or almond milk) shake for lunch, dinner was mostly fish and veggies...or when I was vegan, it was beans/legumes/veggies and pasta. I rarely ate snacks, because like I mentioned, I drank wine and sugared coffee so I gave up snacks so I could have that. And I use Primusweb to calculate my calories burned, but I usually stuck to the pedometer. Well, the problem with not doing weights, and believe me, I totally get your reasons, is that building your muscles really does increase your metabolic rate while burning calories; where cardio simply burns calories. But there are other ways to gain muscle as well. If you go to the link I put above to EXRX, there is a section called Plyometrics. You can definitely increase muscle mass that way without using weights, just your body's weight.

    I don't remember but I know my calories were far higher than 1500. It was more like 1900-2000. Remember, I was active. I had to feed the body of an active 120 pound 40 year old. If you eat too few calories, it also slows down your metabolism.

    I'd definitely invest in a pedometer, it's very motivating. Oh yeah, and morning workouts were a MUST...otherwise I'd find every excuse in the book to not do it!!!

    xxx Tell me tomorrow morning how long you walked :)
    flowers and Petal like this.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I will buy a pedometer tomorrow. I will get the bus especially into the city to get one in argos. That should spur me on if nothing else. I will let you know how it goes tomorrow. I will drag my behind out of the bed in the morning and just get it done.

    Would you recommend 3 balanced meals a day or low carb or anything specific ? I drink a lot of diet drinks, are they okay to consume in large quantities? I need my caffeine fix lol Don't drink tea or coffee.

    I will weigh myself on the 1st of November ( 4 weeks from now) and see how much I have lost.

    Here's to a new me :) And FYI I love almond milk :)

    Thank you so much for all your help, you're a darling :)
    flowers likes this.
  6. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    Honestly Petal, I'm NO expert, but I believe in whole foods. I will never touch a diet drink. I use butter, I never used "low fat" "low carb" or anything labeled low calories. I just make healthy choices and count calories. As for the diet drinks, I think they just bloat you and fill you with unhealthy chemicals...but you have to decide if you want to drink them right? Just like I won't give up wine...well, I'm cutting it out now to save money, but certainly not going to give it up for good. I ate three meals a day, big breakfast, shake for lunch and healthy sized dinner. Once in a while I'd have popcorn with a movie, yes with BUTTER lol...but it was all accounted for in my daily calorie count.

    And you know, you have to tweak your program according to your results. If you don't see the results you like, it's always better to up the exercise rather than lower the calories. When we're on meds, it really effs us up, so we have to try even harder.

    Here's to the new you! Clink! (that was a glass of almond milk, not bubbly btw ;))
    flowers and Petal like this.
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Btw just FYI we have the exact same psychiatric diagnosis's exactly the same, all 4!!!

    Thanks so much for your help. I will follow your advice on the 3 meals :) I have slimfast shakes I could use for lunch. Will stick to the coke zero and pepsi max for beverages as I need my caffeine lol! I will look up those websites that you linked me and get a move on to a new me! Thanks again <3
    Frances M likes this.
  8. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    You can do it Petal. Never give up, even if it takes 3 years or more, this is long term! xx
    Petal likes this.
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Just a quick update, I ate really well today but only managed 12 mins on the treadmill. If I was ''out'' walking I could have done more which I will do tomorrow. I find the treadmill harder to walk on than walking outside. I was suffering from abdominal pain so will just leave it at that for today. I did a lot better today than it could have been for example drank diet coke instead of lucozade. Refused chocolate bars. My main meal was beans and jacket potatoes, breakfast was a toastie with ham, cheese, onion, tomato and I had a long nap and then just had 2 slices of buttermilk with low fat coleslaw and ham.That's all for today :)
    Frances M likes this.
  10. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Got to figure out how to downsize an image I was inspired from so I can upload it. I feel ya about the motivation. I have to put up posters and papers and plan my meals in advance. Ive been reading up on how successful people are getting up and going to the gym or working out first thing in the morning vs other people who does it later in the day
    Petal and Frances M like this.
  11. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

  12. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    I love it as it reminds me it takes a lot time to chisel it away
  13. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    @Petal. How are you progressing so far?
  14. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    what an awesome thread this is. Petal, first of all you have the biggest heart ever ! I just wanted to say that <3 Second, I have been in similar place to what you described. The battle trying to lose large amount of weight. i call it "a grace" when I can figure out the way to get into the groove of it. For me, cutting way down in carbs was important. Because I think I have candida yeast that feeds off of the carbs. And unless I starve them, they relentlessly scream "feed me". I find that unless I put them into a carb denial dormancy or obliteration, they run the show in terms of horrible cravings. Also, I tend to find that eating clean is more satisfying. eg tonight I had chicken tenders and cooked cabbage and celery. It was with mustard. For some reason, because it was so simple and unprocessed it seemed to not leave me wanting more (as much as with some other foods). This also keeps down on the carbs. Although I would never recommend cutting out all carbs. I know people who have great luck with that in terms of no more cravings. And rapid loss. But it doesnt feel healthy to me to cut out so many veggies. So for me the secret is simple low calorie foods and low carbs.

    I so admire you. I admire your very kind heart.

    Frances M. I am not vegan. But I admire people who have chosen that lifestyle. It is very admirable.

    DrownedFishOnFire Great picture !!!
    DrownedFishOnFire and Petal like this.
  15. smackh2o

    smackh2o SF Supporter

    If it helps, I went onto the Dukan diet which is where you cut carbs and most fats out of your diet for several weeks. As you are only eating protein (and you can eat a lot of it) your body goes into ketosis and you burn through fat reserves very quickly. I think I lost nearly a stone in a week and a bit.
    You then start to introduce veg back into your diet to stabilise yourself as your body is a rubber band and it will want to put that weight back on if you revert back to your existing diet too soon.
    This bit of the diet is long and boring but it worked for me because I saw such quick results it really boosted my motivation.
    Once you are out of that bit you can start to eat normally again but you must have one day of proteins a week to stabilise.

    Protein only diets have there dangers so if you are to go for one of these you must research them first and understand the risks.

    Frances' method is better as it makes you change your lifestyle on a longer term which is the safest and most stable way to do things.
    Petal likes this.