can't be happy if she is

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Pip

Public Access
#1
so I was harassed in 7 and 8th grade by this kid, and she came to my high school. she followed me in the beginning and became friends with my friends and 1) is stealing them from me and 2) if she's friends with my friends I need to be around her because I hang out with my friends. and as long as she is happy I can't be. I cannot forgive her ever she has made me kinda paranoid and i know its childish and petty but if she is happy i cant be. she doesnt have many friends bc she was scared to talk to people but is now starting to talk to people that she knows I talk to and I hate that she is becoming friendly with them both because then I'm around her more and because I hate her with my very being and cannot be truly happy if she is. Idk if this belongs in this forum but it was the best I can find.
 

dtc

at least that's what I keep telling myself!
#2
You should never determine your happiness based on someone else, as you never truly know what they are feeling and will generally assume what is the worst outcome for yourself. You don't need to forgive this girl, but letting her impacted you the way this is is only going to hurt you. Try to just focus on being happy yourself, you don't need to waste energy on someone who's not worth your attention.

Take care
 

dtc

at least that's what I keep telling myself!
#4
That makes it hard, just know things will get better, people are hear to listen.
 

Acy

Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense
Staff member
Safety & Support
#5
Heya, Pip. I'm sorry it's hard right now.

Is this person still harassing you? Or is she just part of the group now and that annoys you? I think that real friends will remain real friends, not be "stolen" from you. If they are that fickle, maybe they aren't good friends. And if the new girl is just joining in and is not harassing you in other ways, you might find she is a good egg - just new and a bit unsure. She could be a new best friend. In order to find out, people need to give her a chance. If she's not nice, no loss. If she manages to lure your friends away, then they aren't especially loyal, good friends.

@dtc is right...things will get better. High school can be cliquey, and as people get older and wiser, they usually don't get into cliques quite so much, so it gets better. I hope you find a way to be good to yourself. You deserve that.
 
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