So today has been a particularly bad day today. I took my councilors advice and went by a park, one with a play area where I would see other families and new babies. I was told by doing this I was allowing myself to let go of my daughter and giving myself a chance to see that what happened to me doesn't happen all the time to everyone. He said this would help me. Instead its opened up the gates of my own little hell. I went to that park and I looked at those families and I got sad and angry and depressed. Why do they get to be happy? Why do they get to have their babies? Why was my daughter taken from me? I've felt like this in the past, but before I've always been able to find that little light that led me out of my darkness... Now all I see is black, no light, no way out. Is this what it feels like to finally reach the end?