Can't get it out of my mind, robbery.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Petal, Feb 8, 2015.

  1. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    My families business where I live beside was broken into last year, May to be exact. It's hard to describe so I will try my best. The house I live in is beside and upstairs of the business. The part that was robbed wasn't under us, so even though he broke in and took money etc.. we did not hear him despite being awake.
    He was given a 9 month suspended sentence even though he was already on probation for another robbery.

    This is the problem....

    I keep getting scared at night, cannot sleep, I live on the main street surrounded by houses but I am still scared. Guns are not legal here except for hunters. On Thursday I bought a great quality knife for self protection, it even has a safety pin. Imagine me living alone? could not happen.

    I am having recurrent nightmares of people invading our house/business at night as it's very distressing, we have a very successful pub and we live in a small village so we are an easy target for robbers. Since the robbery we've covered up the back of the business with doors the army wouldn't get through lol. My mom will not allow me to get a rottweiler so I got the knife and make sure everything is locked at night. We stopped using alarms years ago as any small thing sets them off all the time and scares the crap out of us.

    I'm scared paranoid, having nightmares every single night! Can anyone relate or give me some tips?
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 8, 2015
  2. smwhorses

    smwhorses Well-Known Member

    So sorry for you having to cope with this.
    If you have not had a dog before just getting one for "protection" is not a good idea. Getting a dog you might be scared of is also bad. If you like animals then get a medium sized or small dog. They bark very well and can make you feel a lot less alone.
    My "barn dog" was only 20 pounds. When I became divorced he ended up living at my parents house. Over the 10 years he lived in their house the 5 houses around my parents were broken into yearly. My parents were never robbed.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Thanks so much for your reply. We have a Cavalier King Charles, he is small, he has only ever barked at night once which was a few weeks ago, I went down and turned on the censor lights and no one was there than god. I just am out of ideas and when I say I am getting severe nightmares about this I mean severe!!! Just don't know how much thinking about this is healthy or is it paranoia...I don't know, thanks for your helpful reply :)
  4. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Being robbed is traumatic. Have to reassure yourself that most robberies do not happen at night but during the day.
    Here in the US in some areas it has just become a way of life. My coworkers cars has been broken in so many times, few of my family/friends/coworkers places has been broken into. A friend had high end bike being stolen from his garage 5x in a row (found out it was the neighbor w camera rigged)

    Alarms has vastly improved with better technology. Get video cameras that can be seen anywhere (if robbers see camera on them they will think twice of risk of reward vs caught) post that no cash is kept in premises (I see that all over gas stations and few stores).

    Having a guard dog is more of a liability. If they bit someone that they werent supposed to bite in the US the person who got bit can sue the business. What if your guard dog gets loose and bites someone in the public?
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I had more nightmares last night regarding this. Murders and people in my room, it was distressing but I woke with a sigh of relief. I told my doctor and she said it's normal to get scared after a robbery. So i'll take her word for it that this is normal and will go away.

    We have video cameras all over the pub, in front of the pub and behind, that's how he was caught. I wouldn't look at those camera in the middle of the night, it'd freak me out.

    You're right about the guard dog, it would be a liability. Just trying to think through options...

    Thank you so much for your reply.
  6. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    I am sorry that this happened to you - I have had my home robbed and sleeping soundly afterward is not an easy feat.

    With regard to the knife - I can't stress enough how much you need to get rid of it. The fact is that knowing you, I do not believe for a second you would use a knife on another human being - especially not without significant hesitation. Unless you are skilled and willing to use a weapon without hesitation, having one just means it is something that can be used against you. In a fight with a guy, I would bet that you would come off the worse of a knife related tangle. In addition to that, I suspect that Ireland is very similar to the UK that having a weapon at hand and using it would be considered a measure of premeditation; it is not reaching for whatever is at hand, it is arming yourself with intent and would end in a jail sentence even if someone broke in. That is different here than in the US I believe. Please get rid of it - it is not a good idea at all :hug:
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    It's strange because I absolutely agree with you. I don't think I would have it in me to use the knife. It just gives me a false sense of protection, I've realized that. I think I watch way too much USA T.V, I was watching home invasions on unsolved mysteries the other night and one of cold blood. I'm just scared and can't relax at all. I know you are clever and you know what is right and what is wrong. I will give the knife to someone for hardware,my brother maybe, there are no returns on it. I don't SH. Yeah....just a false sense of protection and it would probably be used against me if ever used. I know you will be honest with me and up straight so I am going to get that knife out of my possession. Thank you :hug: I am sorry you went through the same thing, it's so unsettling it actually gives me nausea.
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    1 more thing, the police have given me their mobile numbers because they know how paranoid the robbery has made me (I have a good relationship with them from the rape case a few years ago) so they have been helpful.
  9. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    I'm sorry. What a horrible thing to go through and live with. My family home is where you are from and my mother had similar issues. It was very scary for me to be there so I can understand a little of how you feel. One thing that helped was putting a lock, a simple latch type, on the inside of bedroom doors. I'm unsure re meds for sleeping or or similar (anxiety). I also used ear plugs so that I could sleep, as any little sound would make me jump. Still does. Or what about some music or a sound machine? I'm sorry you feel this way in your home, I hope it improves for you.
  10. deb22

    deb22 Well-Known Member

    Hi Petal, I am glad you are taking Freya's advice and ditching the knife. It may make you feel more secure but when having nightmares and in a sort of ptsd state it could be used on an innocent person who wakes you at the wrong moment. Also a dog that does not bark is not the best but one that does will have you coming alert at every slight sound which will keep you in a state of anxiety at every sound which is not a good thing. good locks, phone access and LIGHT. A good bright motion light is as good as a dog. It is just an effective deterent which is all you can really hope for. Also it may sound strange but sleeping with a good quality whistle around your neck is a really good idea. If neighbours or people in the house heard it the robber or perpetrator would high tail it out of there. It's as good as a police siren to a criminal.
    I hope this passes for you but it may take some time.
    Take care and stay safe.
  11. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Petal, so sorry to hear that you are suffering. The traumatic experiences you have had are not nice. You should not worry about the future. I understand you getting that sharp pointed thing for protection but you have no need to go to that level of protection. You are an AMAZING person and just take care.
  12. sthomas022

    sthomas022 Member

    Dear Petal,

    I understand your fear. I grew up in Detroit, Mi. I have not been back there since the 80's. I know what it is like to live under that fear and being literally living behind iron bars in your own home. So, glad you are going to eliminate the knife and please do reconsider a security system they are more advanced today. So sorry this has happened to you.

    Stay safe
  13. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry for what you're going through Petal. About 3 years ago before I became ill, someone tried to carjack me and told me they'd shoot me if I didn't give up the car. I got away from them, but it really scared me enough that I was afraid of someone breaking into my home. I put up motion lights, and installed a more secure deadbolt and felt much safer after that. We also have home invasions where I live, but I don't think that there's any way that anyone will be breaking into my house. The carjacking experience still scares me when I think about it, but I rarely think about it anymore. Since I've been ill, I don't go out at night anymore. It really scares me to think about how I would handle it now that I'm ill.
  14. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I really appreciate all of your replies and I will take the advice and sharing of info ye gave given me :) I am sorry some of you have been through the same sort of thing, hopefully my anxieties about this will ease off soon when I can get my mind to realize there's no need to be this paranoid.