Can't tell but need to deal with

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by IceStorm, Feb 24, 2014.

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  1. IceStorm

    IceStorm Active Member

    How do you deal with thoughts you can never tell anyone about? I can't let go of the fact that I had them, even though I would never act on them. I can't even believe I had them. I see my therapist in a couple of days and I can never tell her but maybe there is a way to work around them without saying them but that feels like it would get into convoluted double talk and just get nowhere. I can not take the risk of saying anything but I need to put it all in perspective and be able to let it go as it's just eating me up.
     
  2. justsomegirl

    justsomegirl Well-Known Member

    IceStorm, I'm sorry you're struggling with this right now. You should always feel safe to tell your therapist about anything. I'm aware that there is some stigma about sharing certain things for fear of being involuntarily put into the hospital; I think this doesn't happen nearly as much as people think. Personally I have discussed being depressed and suicidal with my psychiatrist, who helped me work through everything after making sure that I didn't have a plan, etc. I urge you to take a little leap and confide in your therapist.

    If that is just not doable, you've got other options. You can try journaling either on paper or online (Penzu.com), post on these forums, or seek out an online live chat crisis website. The chat here is good, too, if you'd like to start there. Good luck and hang in there. :hug:
     
  3. IceStorm

    IceStorm Active Member

    Thank you. I don't think though that I can tell anyone. I have been thinking of how I could talk to my therapist about it but I can not see how I can do this. If it was that I was suicidal I could and she would work with me on it (she has before) but this is different and I am too scared to bring it up.
     
  4. justsomegirl

    justsomegirl Well-Known Member

    Well, maybe the first step is to pinpoint exactly why you're afraid to talk to her about it. Are you afraid of her reaction? Of possible consequences? Is it that you are afraid to share something so personal? I think if you can figure out the reason you're scared, it can be assessed and overcome. That's what she's there for, and I'll bet you dollars to donuts she's heard it all before.
     
  5. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I believe that there are two types of thoughts. Thoughts that we produce ourselves, and those that are influences from the unseen. Some are positive and some negative.
    I have had some pretty messed up thoughts in my mind before. And that's putting it in a nice way. I now realize that I can accept these thoughts as my own or reject them.
    All actions begin as thoughts. If we entertain and dwell on bad thoughts they can grow into acceptance. Acceptance then grows into actions.
    Just because these alien suggestive thoughts pop into your mind; this doesn't make you a monster our bad person. Whether you entertain them with fantasy and then act upon them; this allows them to define you.
    My faith tells me that these alien thoughts are temptation from fallen angels that I cannot see. They rule this world by controlling people by the suggestive thoughts they put into people's minds. And I believe it. Everything Yahweh tells us not to do we get tempted to do by thoughts we mistake as our own.
    You have a choice. If you do not accept them; rebuke them. Thoughts do not define you as a person. You're actions do.
    They will never go away for good, but they will flee from you if you pray for them to. It works for me. I also rebuke them in the name of Yahshua as well. My prayers are with you. Blessings...
     
  6. IceStorm

    IceStorm Active Member

    Thank you both. I have been doing a lot of looking at the possible reactions a therapist could have to talking to her and I might be able to gauge her reaction with some general questions first and then take it from there. During my looking I came across a new suicide method and that was calming (not that I am not suicidal and going to do anything) and has just left me tired and with a headache.
     
  7. justsomegirl

    justsomegirl Well-Known Member

    I think that sounds like a great idea; come up with some "lead-in" type questions. I am a total nerd and would even write out a list to bring to my appointment. I hope her reaction is warm and understanding and that you are able to put it all on the table. :hug:

    It's strange, isn't it? Not feeling particularly suicidal but seeing something like a new method and thinking just for a second....it often leaves me headachey too, it's like the two sides of my brain are screaming at each other. You are taking some VERY positive steps, though (proud of you!) and I just know things are going to start looking up.
     
  8. IceStorm

    IceStorm Active Member

    I saw my therapist and I told her. And she said it is not the first time she has heard of someone thinking the thoughts I had. She said that my depression had become so bad that it had become psychotic and I am going to go back on meds. Thank you again. I am not sure I would have said anything otherwise.
     
  9. justsomegirl

    justsomegirl Well-Known Member

    Wow, I am so proud of you for bringing it up with her, I know how hard that must have been! I'm so glad she was receptive and understanding. Hopefully the medication will help; I know mine does. Hope you get to feeling better sooner rather than later. :hug:
     
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