Can't think of a titile

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by bigloozer, Mar 29, 2012.

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  1. bigloozer

    bigloozer Member

    Cannot cope anymore. Im just not getting any where. Thinking about suicide daily (almost all the time) I am just so frustrated I feel like I am hitting my head against a wall constantly. Cant talk to any one. Words just wont come out. Cant sleep long enough to suit me ( I mean forever). I dont know what to do now.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi have you talked to anyone about how you are feeling I hope so. Talk to a councillor of your doctor You say your are not getting anywhere does that mean in your career or in making life choses If you are not sleeping well that will affect the way you feel and think too. Keep talking to us okay so others can reach out too and give support
     
  3. pppqp

    pppqp Well-Known Member

    have you seen a psychiatrist yet? if not, you need to get professional help as soon as you can so that you won't sink any deeper into depression and suicidal ideation. apparently depression is affecting your sleep routine.
    don't be alone my dear. talk to us and get help
    :hugs:
     
  4. bigloozer

    bigloozer Member

    Nothing gets any better. I am on medication High doses of Effexor 300mg daily. I see a T. and she is trying to get me into see a Psych but being a country town appointments are few and far between. When I said its effecting my sleep its not that I cant sleep its that I cant wake up. I sleep all the time. My career is ongoing and ok, my life choices are that I don't want to be here any more I am tired of the constant struggling to be normal and not anxious about everything. paranoid about everything and depressed all the time. I laugh at funny things but I laugh so fake nothing is that funny any more. I do not get enjoyment out of things I try but ......
    Meds aren't helping. T is ok but I can't seem to tell her the reason I feel like I do I don't know why. Today I had to go to the shops. It took me 6 hours to actually leave the house and I only got part way through getting what I needed before I had a panic and had to rush home. I feel so stupid and useless in life yet go to work and I turn into a professional caring nurse who is good at her job. Why cant I be that in my life all the time? So frustrated. Hence the name bigloozer.
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You see i too become a professional when i leave this house we become someone that is respected and we are doing something to help others That is the easy part helping others
    You are not a big loser ok you are ill as i am ill soon i hope you can trust your T enough to start opening up and say the things that you want her to know. Write it out even if you cannot say it. It is like living a double life when we are outside our professional lives we fall apart as we have no purpose then not comfortable out of our role we made for ourselves.
    I hope you keep talking here okay i can relate to your post and i know others will to You will get better it will take energy and time and trust in your therapist You have that time hun on your side Just take each day don't look beyond that day one day at a time ok hugs
     
  6. bigloozer

    bigloozer Member

    Thank you for you response. Time. I dont think I have much time any more now. I cannot look beyond right now. You say one day at a time. I feel like today is it for me. So thank you for your support. I am at the bottom and I AM a Loozer and always will be.
     
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOU are NOT a loser okay you go to hospital and you get the help you need to stay safe then You know sign yourself in for a few days okay so you can get some rest so you don't have to pretend anymore. I know you say you don't have time but you DO have time to heal hugs
     
  8. bigloozer

    bigloozer Member

    Im scared
     
  9. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Please hun please listen okay i am a nurse too and i too have hit bottom where you are at now but i am old okay i went for help and so can you just call crisis line or go to hospital hun noone will judge you there they will help you hugs
     
  10. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Big hugs to you....get the sense what is going on is scary and you are hurting....has been hard for me to be upfront with professionals too...love what TE says about one day at a time; baby steps sound great in letting them slowly see what pain you are going through....please take care. :hug:
     
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