Career!

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by skinnylove911, Mar 30, 2013.

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  1. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    Right now I am at my witts end of what to regards to my career, over the past few years I have trying my hardest to get into a social work degree it's what i have got my heart set on and i have tried so many times and failed, some reasons have been due to not having maths which I can definitely accept as a reason and other reasons have been due references or technical side of my application. But the thing is i am seriously not considering applying for the 2014 entry (this year is screwed) and giving up my dreams, hopes and ambitions as mentally and emotionally it's making me worse. But I know deep down it's what gets me out of bed in the morning, it's what keeps me focused and it what helps me beat my depression. So I am catch 22, I know that if i don't do it i would probably end up doing something i regret or end up slowly killing myself with my old eating disorder habits. (Severely restricting to below 500 cals day, over exercising, purging and chewing and spitting) or simply go on a major hunger strike like i have done a few times since having depression.
    if i go for it the final time, i risk the not getting in and making myself worse or if i don't do it i run the risk of making my depression and eating related problems 100 times worse. (Im stable-ish on eating right now) I only feel like this because my life is a big mess right now and I have lost so much in my life right now that my eating problems are way of dealing with the emotional pain and shit im going through.
     
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    If it's something you really want to do, then you should go for it. Never give up on your dreams :hug:
     
  3. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    To me it wakes me up the morning and actually motivates me out of bed if i didnt have my career i would be in bed 24/7 feeling depressed and sorry for myself.
     
  4. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    If I wasn't working I'd be dead as hard as it is. I spent five years I they worse job but then I moved into the charity sector last October and it's amazing I work for a children's charity and it's hard but rewarding, at the same time like you I'd love to get a degree in a similar field. It's not doing the degree it's even just picking up an application. Applying attending the first lecture. That's the problem anxiety can kill and squash any ambition I've got so far and I relate to what you are saying. Just wish it was easier. Sorry to ramble on your post!
     
  5. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    Im just thinking of my future as well, in a few years I will be reaching 30 and by then i would like my career my to set off, im willing to wait an entire year and do voluntary work but not more than two years. My parents are dead against the idea, they just want me to sit in a job i don't want but i want so much more in life. one thing i do know with sw/nursing ot (im very open) is that my fees are paid off by the state i end up without student debt. But in my mind im questioning, whether it will actually make things worse for me years down the line. I could recover from depression and then suddently it relapses cos of stress of applying for uni or getting rejected. On the other hand, I know that if i don't do it or aim for a career my depression will worsen again and i will be back to feeling shitty 24/7.
     
  6. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Always do what you want to do ( as long as it doesn't harm you). I'm nearly 30 and I regret not doing certain things sooner. But you should look into, research carefully what you want to do then take your plans with your research to your parents. Surely they would support you if they saw how much you wanted it and that you had done your homework into it?
     
  7. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    but they know the some of the deversating affects that happen if things don't my way, then I get my boyfriend whose a pain in the arse one minute he's cheering me on saying that i should do and the next he's the complete opposite so my heads all over the place and i end up feeling like dogshit. I will be mentioning this my mh team this week. Also he's forever asking me why i'm depressed and feel like dogsshit like what\'s going on but obviously he knows what's happening in my life right now i have told him. i feel like i have been talking to a brick wall.
     
  8. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    The boyfriend sounds like a side distraction, to be honest like you said you can focus on that in your meeting next week. What you have to ask yourself is how much do you want this and how can you go about getting it. It's your life and career if you feel it's right for you go for it
     
  9. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    Time to prove myself and fight this battle no more me getting depressed about it no more feeling dogshit time fight this world war 3 thats going in my head once and for all then i can conquer the world.
     
  10. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Exactly all anyone can ask of you is to try, like I mean at least you have tried no matter what happens
     
  11. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    Im gonna see how things go ya know i change my mind a lot x
    im just so undecided its unreal
     
  12. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I completed my nursing degree in June last year. I was only 17 when I applied, didn't have A levels, just GCSE's. The course requirement at the time was 5 GCSE's including English and Maths but I managed to get onto the course, despite it being the last January intake at the Centre I trained at and I got a place through clearing house. The training itself was quite tough, and several times I felt like I was going to break down, but keeping busy helped me get through my course. I had a 6 month break due to illness and stress but I still managed to complete my course. My university were very supportive and knew of my troubles previously to applying and whilst on the course and guided me in the directions I needed to take. I have now been a qualified nurse for 9 months and loving every minute of it. If it is your dream to be a social worker, then go for it! If you don't have maths, you can go to night classes and top up your GCSE's at your local college. Shouldn't take more than 6 months I believe.
     
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