Comes and goes

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Broken Tree, May 15, 2012.

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  1. Broken Tree

    Broken Tree Account Closed

    I have been on top of the world just to have it crumble and take EVERYTHING with it. At that point I tried a few stupid things and one of the resulted in a high speed chase. Never chase someone driving a car when they don't care to live, you wont catch them. For the most part I have been better for the past year. I moved, started over from scratch, and was really positive about my future. Seems like now the harder I try, the faster the bottom falls out. I push and my invisible foe pushes harder. I really try to not give up. When it seems really bad I listen to Awake and Alive. But I keep imagining the end. I actually see it. March 19, 2011was the last time I saw it for a long while. I was in a hospital waiting for my upcoming commitment hearing. Something happened (actually something negative) to make me get my head on straight and I was not committed. I don't want or trust the med's. The only times I ever tried foolishness was on med's or going thru a change in med's. I just want the visions to stop. I don't need to live for myself, I need to live for my kids. There fore I will not die.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Broken Tree you children how old are they hun You are right hun we do need to live for our children but you also need to live for YOU hun i hope you talk to your doc again and see what other treatments there are to keep you stable hugs
     
  3. Broken Tree

    Broken Tree Account Closed

    With any luck the day will come soon that I can afford to see a counselor. I think that would be a big help. I has one in MN and that pretty much saved me as well as a few other things.
     
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