Confused ..

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by sweetwhisper, Nov 5, 2013.

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  1. sweetwhisper

    sweetwhisper Well-Known Member

    I'm a little confused :s this is strange to explain and a bit hard to write what I'm trying to ask ..

    Ok, many people have told me a few times that I am skinny but I reaaaaaally don't think I am! They say I need to eat more but why do I feel I need to eat way less. I'm 20, weigh 5.78 stones (81 pounds), and height of 5ft 5" ..BMI of 13.5 I think!

    I don't do much exercise, I am scared to see a doctor (been told I should), I know I have lost some weight but I don't feel like there's anything wrong and I feel I shouldn't be eating much.

    I'm confused to why people tell me one thing but I always feel the total opposite, Why do I feel so fat :\

    This probably makes no sense at all!
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi. I can understand why you are confused. It is very confusing to feel fat and have people say you are too thin. It is confusing to think one way and be told the opposite. I commend you on writing what you did. That must have taken lots of courage to write.

    From the numbers you wrote down you do seem very underweight. There is a condition people have where they can be too thin but feel fat, or too big. I have this condition. So do many people. I have an eating disorder. I am not saying you too have one. I hear you when you say that you are scared to go to the doctor. Of course you are ! :arms: But do you think you could possibly find a way to get yourself to do it? Because I do think its important. I would help you any way I could. And I do know of other websites where people would support you through the scariness of going to a doctor for a possible eating disorder.

    Would you be willing to just take that one step? Just to go to the doctor? I know thats one scary step. But I hope with all my heart that you will find a way to do that. And I could be here to support you through it. :hug: I think other people would too.

    If you cannot face the thought of saying the words, then maybe you could bring a written note to hand to the doctor. If you have a therapist, you could write a note and just hand it to him or her, if that would make it easier. I know thats scary too. But it might be a bit less scary than speaking.

    Finally, you wrote how much you weigh in terms of stones. So I know you must live someplace in Europe. Maybe down under in NZ or Aus. But my pont is, there is a phone helpline in the UK that you could call if you wanted. They are called the samaritans. Some people have been helped by them. Maybe, if you wanted you could call or email them. to ask them what they recommend. Ask them for support. Or just talk to them. A real person on the phone who does not know who you are. Here is a link to the England page of their website. on top of the page you could click to see pages for other areas in the UK. Calling there can be in addition to coming here. I am glad you are here. And I hope you will keep on posting here. As I think you already know, its a great place. Very safe too. Okay, that was a long answer to a very brave question.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 6, 2013
  3. sweetwhisper

    sweetwhisper Well-Known Member

    Thank you Flowers for the support and for your time and effort in your reply. Yes it's quite confusing and yeah it took me awhile to be able to post this, I feel a bit silly for putting it up :( I had thought about going to the doctors and I gave the samaritans a call but I found it hard to talk, but I've just recently come out of hospital for something else and they were concerned about my weight and eating habits and put me on a drip and feeding tube and now I get visits at home from a nutritionist to help me eat the right foods so I can get my vitamins b and c and iron etc. Hopefully this will make me well again but I still get the feelings of feeling that I'm fat but I was too scared to admit it to the doctors. I don't know how to tell them. Thanks again for your support :)
  4. silentlyfading

    silentlyfading Well-Known Member

    Don't really know much about these things but im male 5'7 and 12 st that is average bmi so by the numbers you put up it does seem like your underweight. Getting the correct nutrition is good so well done but I would advise going to see your doctor and requesting to see a therapist who specialises in that sort of feild. So if there is an Issue they can find the cause rather than just treat the symptoms. Good luck
  5. sweetwhisper

    sweetwhisper Well-Known Member

    Thank you silentlyfading. Yeah I'm a bit hesitant in talking to a doctor but with my next visit from the nutritionist I think I'll try talk to her about it if I can as I find talking to her easier. She will then talk to my doctor and hopefully all goes well from there. Thanks again.
  6. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi sweetwhisper. I feel better knowing that you are getting some nutrition. I know how frighting and confusing it is. Well, I know it from my own perspective. If you ever feel the need to contact the samaritans again you could maybe try doing it by email. It can be easier than actual talking. A lot of people who have this problem with food do have a hard time saying the words. Sometimes writing them can be easier. Even though of course thats still so scary.

    I think you are so brave and courageous and smart. Healing this condition is a long road. Because of the fear of healing it. Because of the mixed feelings. I know. You know that it is important to talk about the thoughts of being too heavy. Thats a great sign that you know this. Because it means this condition has not set in cement. This is such a good thing. I am the same way regarding how I see myself. But I work on it because I do not want this thing to own me.

    I know its a scary thing to talk about. But you have said it here. Thats great. When you can say it or write it irl, you will. Sometimes writing it on a piece of paper and handing it to the person is the way to go. Please post here as often or seldom as you need or want. Again, I think you have courage. Courage can be there even with great amounts of fear. :hug: :hugtackles: and :butterfly8:
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 28, 2013
  7. wyngedbyste

    wyngedbyste Well-Known Member

    It's good that you posted here. There is a lot of support to be had.

    I'm not a doctor, but it sounds like you might have body dysmorphic disorder. This is when you see yourself differently than what may be real. It's confusing and scary when things don't line up in our heads, isn't it? Like watching a 3D movie without the right glasses. A therapist can help sort things out. Make things line up.

    I know you don't see why this might be a problem. If you don't eat enough, though, you're shortening your life and making what life you have left more difficult. And it worries other people who may care about you.

  8. sweetwhisper

    sweetwhisper Well-Known Member

    Yeah it's quite frightening, its just so scary that knowing I needed to have a food tube in me and knowing the purpose of it yet I still feel fat :s. I might give it a go at emailing the Samaritans, I didn't know you could. I do find it easier to write how I feel compared to talking about it. Thank You Flowers for your kind support and praise, it means a lot :) :hug:

    Thank you Byste for your support also. I had a look into BDD and read about it but I don't think I have that, but may look more into it. Yeah it's quite scary, I have been to see a therapist but stopped after two sessions. Maybe I will consider going back and write how I feel etc. like Flowers mentioned.

    Thank you :)
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