confused

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by cie, May 24, 2014.

  1. cie

    cie Banned Member

    On tuesday a friend of the family messaged me saying my uncle had an accident and my dad's trying to get hold of me. Phone was on silent.

    Talked to my Dad. 'So and so said he had an accident'. 'He's dead'. That was the gist of it anyway. The guy was my favorite uncle, one of the few people in my childhood who was nice to me.

    Then something strange happened.. and by something I mean nothing. My emotions prior to discovering his death didn't waver in the least. I guess.. it hadn't sunk in.

    It's Saturday night now, his funeral was on Friday and everyone was in tears, except me, I felt disgusting inside being near family that I loathe. And still I didn't feel a damn thing.

    I just want to go back home. The financial distress over this is intolerable. And I'm in a city where I suffered for around 16 years.. A city I never wanted to return to again. Ever.

    I love my uncle, and he's gone from this world, why am I not sad, grieving, angry... What is wrong with me, am I that completely dead inside?
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are in shock and in time the tears will come but for now your body and mind are protecting itself from the sadness that you do feel
    When you are ready the tears will come ok Each of us grieve differently do not compare yourself to anyone hugs
     
  3. crystalclear

    crystalclear Well-Known Member

    You're not dead inside. You're probably feeling numb. You're uncle was suddenly taken away so instead of crying and being sad like the others, your coping mechanism chose to block those really intense emotions that you should be feeling. It just probably means that you grieve slower than the others. It is okay to feel like that. It is how you grieve. You grieve quietly. When your brain thinks that you can handle the emotions it will start to let you feel again. That is when the sadness will come. Grieve at your own pace Cie. And I'm so sorry for your loss.
     
  4. mandy

    mandy Well-Known Member

    My favorite uncle died about 2 1/2 months ago. I felt the exact same way. The only difference is that it took a while for the funeral to happen so I didn't cry for like a week and a a half after it happened and then we went to the funeral and I broke down. Then I didn't cry again until the burial. But everyone was crying I and I wasn't most of the time. I felt horrid, and like an asshole. But it just hit me at different times. It hits everyone at different times, and some people deal with it in different ways. Like I self harmed pretty badly the day after I heard but I didn't cry. It all depends on the person… Don't worry , there is no "incorrect" grief, you are fine. Just make it through this that's all you have to worry about.