On tuesday a friend of the family messaged me saying my uncle had an accident and my dad's trying to get hold of me. Phone was on silent. Talked to my Dad. 'So and so said he had an accident'. 'He's dead'. That was the gist of it anyway. The guy was my favorite uncle, one of the few people in my childhood who was nice to me. Then something strange happened.. and by something I mean nothing. My emotions prior to discovering his death didn't waver in the least. I guess.. it hadn't sunk in. It's Saturday night now, his funeral was on Friday and everyone was in tears, except me, I felt disgusting inside being near family that I loathe. And still I didn't feel a damn thing. I just want to go back home. The financial distress over this is intolerable. And I'm in a city where I suffered for around 16 years.. A city I never wanted to return to again. Ever. I love my uncle, and he's gone from this world, why am I not sad, grieving, angry... What is wrong with me, am I that completely dead inside?